Couple helps others grieve for lost babies / LJWorld.com

Archive for Sunday, November 1, 2009

November 1, 2009

Alesha and Max Pfrimmer will lead the Midwest chapter of the TEARS Foundation by planning fundraisers and activities for families who’ve lost a baby between 20 weeks gestation up to 1 year old. The money the Pfrimmers and others raise will stay in Kansas and be strictly available to Kansas families.

An initial fundraiser — Kansas Walk and Rock — is set for 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. April 10 at Lansing High School. Teams will collect pledges to be donated to the TEARS Foundation and walk around the track in honor of a lost baby.

For information, contact the Pfrimmers at 913-297-0494 or kansaswalk@thetearsfoundation.org. More about the TEARS Foundation can also be found at thetearsfoundation.org.

Photo by Nicole Kelley

Alesha and Max Pfrimmer and their daughter, Kaylee, 3, Lansing, have started a Midwest chapter of the TEARS Foundation, a nonprofit organization based in Payallup, Wash. The couple lost their son in March when Alesha was five months pregnant.

Lansing — The kisses that 3-year-old Kaylee Pfrimmer left behind on her mother’s pregnant belly are now a distant memory.

“Kaylee was so excited to be a big sister,” Alesha Pfrimmer said. “We’d gotten into a routine. She liked to kiss my belly.”

But Kaylee didn’t get to be a big sister. Last March, during an outing at the zoo, Alesha, who was five months pregnant, experienced some cramping. It was nothing unusual at first, but a week later, the normally active baby boy inside her stopped moving. She went to her doctor.

“The silence of the room broke the bad news,” Alesha said. “There was no heartbeat.”

To this day, it’s not clear what happened.

In their grief, Alesha and her husband, Max, who live in Lansing, have established a Midwest chapter of the TEARS Foundation, a nonprofit organization based in Puyallup, Wash. The group seeks to lift the financial and emotional burden of families who have lost a baby between 20 weeks gestation up to 1 year old.

“We can’t justify the loss of our baby,” Alesha said. “But it does make us feel a little bit better to give back to someone else who’s experiencing the same situation.”

After the loss, the Pfrimmers began looking for a group to join to help them through the grieving process. But their search in Kansas came up with few options. So they decided to form the new chapter.

“I wanted to be around parents who’ve gone through the same tragedy,” Alesha said. “When you lose a baby, it’s sometimes easier for outsiders to move on with life, but for the parents involved, they’ve lost a part of themselves, and they have to keep on going.”

The mission of the TEARS Foundation is to offer support groups and provide funds for burial or cremation.

“TEARS has given us a blessing to help others in our community,” Alesha said. “It’s the gift of giving that has been bestowed on our hearts.”