Kansas City, Mo. ? Sex doesn’t stop at the nursing home doors, but a new effort is under way to help senior living facilities that aren’t ready to handle their residents’ needs for physical and emotional intimacy.

The subject is getting more attention at nursing homes, which usually try to ignore or discourage the sexuality of their residents. Researchers at Kansas State University have produced seminars and training aids to encourage nursing home caregivers to discuss and accommodate sexual desires.

The effort brings Kansas into a national discussion that advocates say will grow as baby boomers age and take their beliefs about sexual freedom and civil rights into the nation’s nursing homes.

Kansas State began its efforts by sending two researchers to nursing homes to see how the topic was being addressed.

“Nobody was talking about it; it was a really hush-hush subject,” said Gayle Doll, director of Kansas State’s Center on Aging. “I guess it’s hard enough for people to think about their parents having sex, let alone their grandparents.”

Using a grant from the Kansas Department of Aging, the researchers talked to staff at three nursing homes. One of the first seminars was at Schowalter Villa in Hesston, where many staff first reacted with, “We’re going to talk about WHAT?” said Lillian Claassen, vice president of health services at the villa.

Doll said the training focuses on explaining what sexuality means for older adults, identifying barriers to fulfilling the sexual needs, finding strategies to help residents and how to discern appropriate from inappropriate sexual behaviors.

Solutions can be as simple as providing “do not disturb” signs or making sure staff does not barge into residents’ rooms without knocking. Claassen said her nursing home provides a discreet room for residents and has staff work through possible scenarios. Sometimes, it’s as simple as arranging a bed for someone who needs physical therapy in a way that also allows that patient to be with his or her companion, she said.

“We all need touch, kindness and companionship,” she said. “We try to enable that in this setting.”

Sexuality doesn’t always mean intercourse. Many lonely or depressed residents are looking for ways to relieve those feelings, Doll said.

For example, she told of one resident who had asked for pornography but stopped when the staff started spending more time with him.

“Some sexual expressions that might be seen as inappropriate will go away when they simply get the attention they deserve,” Doll said.

When the need does include sexual activity, the issue becomes more difficult if one of the residents is suffering from dementia, advocates say. That can manifest itself in a resident making passes at a staff member.

Claassen said her staff is trained to respond politely and to understand that the impaired resident may be mistaking the staff member for a spouse or reacting as he or she has in the past.