Wichita — The idea still holds a bit of novelty, though Shelton and Brandi Koskie aren't banking on that alone. Rather, the Wichita couple are hoping the generosity of strangers is what ultimately pays off.
The Koskies, who spent 17 months attempting to conceive a child the old-fashioned way, recently turned to a doctor for help. It was then they learned Shelton had a medical condition that made in vitro fertilization their best option.
They also learned it would cost $15,000.
Shelton, 26, works in publications at Cessna, and Brandi, 25, is an advertising account executive. That much money seemed like a fortune to the young couple.
But Shelton said his wife is a natural problem solver. Before she had even walked out of the doctor's office, she came up with the idea of building a Web site to not only chronicle their experience, but ask visitors to donate money.
BabyOrBust.com, which launched in early July, already has netted the couple more than $1,000.
"The hardest part for me was, wait a second, we're going to tell everybody?" Shelton said.
Shelton and Brandi Koskie show their laptop displaying their Web site BabyOrBust.com. The Wichita couple launched the site to solicit donations for the $20,000 it will cost them to get in vitro fertilization treatments. The idea of "cyberbegging" came from Karyn Bosnack, a 20-something from New York who had accumulated more than $20,000 in credit card bills. Her Web site, SaveKaryn.com, asked people in 2002 to donate money to help her get out of debt.
The idea of "cyberbegging" came from Karyn Bosnack, a 20-something from New York who had accumulated more than $20,000 in credit card bills. Her Web site, SaveKaryn.com, asked people in 2002 to donate money to help her get out of debt.
"This has been a nation of self-promotion from the get-go," said Robert Thompson, a professor of media and pop culture at Syracuse University. "What the Internet and reality television have done is given people a venue for that self-promotion."
Thompson said Bosnack spawned an entire generation of people looking online for handouts and eventually people will grow tired of it.
"It's like e-mail," he said. "There's no longer the novelty factor."
But the Koskies' Web site represents more than a hand extended, palm up.
It is a mixture of research and links, with a published list of medical expenses to help other couples plan for in vitro fertilization. It even includes a diary with such pithy, lighthearted commentary as Brandi's entry: "They say it takes a village to raise a child. We need a village to help us just get the dad-gum thing conceived!"
"When we started this, we told ourselves we'd have to get a thick skin," Brandi said. "Not everybody is going to agree with what we're doing. ... Our position is that what we're doing is an act of love."
In vitro fertilization is not covered by their health insurance, and the couple said they had considered moving to one of the 15 states that requires health care coverage for fertility treatments.
But their entrepreneurship has allowed them to stay in Wichita, where they say they have always wanted to raise their children.
"We want a baby that has my blue eyes," Brandi said, "and Shelton's red hair and my curls."
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mom_of_three (anonymous) says…
They are so young, and have plenty of time to save the money for the treatments themselves. (Cessna pays pretty well, I thought). The Wichita paper ran the story yesterday, and the outrage was huge.
mom_of_three (anonymous) says…
The Wichita story also mentioned how her younger and married siblings and friends were having kids, and it wasn't happening for them. Gee, the couple is only 25 and 26.
mom_of_three (anonymous) says…
My stepbrother and his wife will have to use IVF or another treatment to conceive a child, after two miscarriages. they are saving the money themselves. They are older than these two, and evidently, wiser.
Godot (anonymous) says…
I agree with Marion on this one; 25 & 26 and they think people should help them buy a designer baby? Sorry, I will not contribute.
mommaeffortx2 (anonymous) says…
move on just ignore any response is a response.
justsomewench (anonymous) says…
my folks always taught me that you don't buy what you can't afford.
they can't come up with $15K to have a baby, but they can afford to raise one?
ahem.
mom_of_three (anonymous) says…
according to the Wichita article, they want a child of their own, and after 4 years of marriage, this is their only way, since they can't conceive on their own. Lately, the posts in Wichita are becoming supportive.
I still don't understand why they can't wait a few more years and just save the money.
downtowner (anonymous) says…
Marion,
Entitlement? Seems like a great example of volunteerism... or libertarianism... or whatever. You want to donate? Go ahead. You don't want to? No sweat. I'm not finding a deduction on my paycheck to pay for this.
More to the point,: the quote from 'professor of media and pop culture' Richard Thompson, ""This has been a nation of self-promotion from the get-go,"... "What the Internet and reality television have done is given people a venue for that self-promotion."
(by the way, great comments on Prof. Richard and self promotion at http://monkeyfilter.com/link.php/4293)
Look, at least you can see the hand inside the sock puppet in this case. Better to know who you're donating to, or trashing on an internet forum, right?
And God forbid someone should promote themself on the internet!
downtowner
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
maybe I missed something, but *what* "known" genetic defect are you attributing to the dad? didn't see that!
and, Marion, I'd donate...if it included a guarantee to end *your* self promotion and posting repeatedly on here...you'd be limited to three posts on all ljw boards in sum, per day if this Marion Foundation were to have some attraction for local donors!
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
OH, I see, because it is *his* conception trouble they must overcome with IVF, you presume *he* has a genetic defect.
>-WRONG!
Marion, sometimes I appreciate what you post, but in this you're just being an ignant bastid, as my relatives might say.
if it is low sperm count they are working to overcome, his might be caused by some infection he once had (there are about a dozen of possible), or some workplace exposure to toxins, etc.
now, as to how I feel about their website: nauseating! these two really oughta save and learn the value of doing things the right way instead of a gimmicky shortcut. whaddya think they'll call their kid conceived this way? maybe they could have a naming contest on their damned website?
sorry, seems dumb.
justsomewench (anonymous) says…
again, i say: if they can't afford the conception, i don't know what makes them think they can afford raising a child. who're they gonna hit up when they realize that diapers aren't free? what if it takes $45k in treatments to conceive? what if the child is born immediately requiring $20k in neurosurgery like my youngest?
it seems to me that they're living in a fantasy world. i'd suggest they spend more time considering the wonderful things life has given them than believing only a biological child will ensure a fairy tale ending.
jasonthesane (anonymous) says…
The could sell "naming rights" for their child... AutoTrader.com Koskie!
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
"nappa auto parts, JR."
or
"baby Sprint?"
"...and this baby brought to you by *Ivory Soap' note the tatoo on baby Ivory's forehead."
Pywacket (anonymous) says…
""We want a baby that has my blue eyes," Brandi said, "and Shelton's red hair and my curls."
Gag me with a silver baby spoon!!!! Can we say, "superficial soulless scumbags?"
This is disgusting on so many levels, I wouldn't know where to begin... Luckily, many of you caught this article earlier than I did, so most bases have been adequately covered.
Still... I am dumbfounded.
destinynaylor (anonymous) says…
Marion--- you are probably not lurking on this board anymore, but, obviously you have issues! Are you mad that your mommy gave you a girl's name? Or have you just never loved anyone so selflessly that you wanted to see their face in your child's eyes? You obviously have NEVER had a problem with fertility. But then again you are such a porcupine that maybe no one ever got near you long enough to find out if you were fertile or not! God Bless this poor couple, it is a shame that IVF is not covered in this country. These are not designer children, God's hand is evident in all creation and if your research had been done on the in depth subject of IVF and how fragile a process it is maybe you would understand their plight. I pity you and will pray for your very unhappy soul!