Christmas Eve means the column must be written in verse, a tradition I’ve maintained for better and, perhaps, much, much worse.

Some stanzas are vintage, others original. The meter tends to wobble and explode, like the Hindenburg dirigible.

So without further ado, or introductory clatter, let’s get this poem on the road, before Santa gets any fatter.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and it’s an NBC ritual to repeat “It’s a Wonderful Life” (7 p.m.). In fact, it’s habitual.

Over on CMT, a country Christmas they’re a-startin’. Catch “Unlikely Angel” (8 p.m.), starring Roddy McDowall and Dolly Parton.

If biblical tales are your Christmas cup of tea, don’t miss “Noah’s Ark” (7 p.m., Encore), starring Jon Voight (the father of Angelina Jolie!).

A Christmas tale of three critters (not including a mouse), “Second Star to the Left” (8:30 p.m., CW) features the voice of Hugh Laurie, the head doctor on “House.”

If squeaky-clean movies are your holiday bane, catch “Bad Santa” (9 p.m., Comedy Central). It’s fairly profane.

Adam Sandler stars in “Jack and Jill” (8 p.m., Starz), a film more obvious than clever. Some critics contend it’s his worst movie ever!

”Who Was Jesus?” (7p.m. through midnight, Military) you might ask, warm in your long winter flannel. Then you might wonder, “What’s this doing on the Military Channel?”

The “Christmas Story” (7 p.m. through 7 p.m. Tuesday, TBS) marathon brings tradition galore, inspired by Jean Shepherd, an esteemed raconteur.

So here’s to Christmas, with rhymes less than rewarding. If I haven’t quite tortured syntax, I’ve come close to waterboarding.

One last night of holiday highlights

• “The Polar Express” (noon, ABC Family).

• “White Christmas” (12:45 p.m., AMC).

• “Miracle on 34th Street” (6 p.m., AMC).

• “Disney Prep & Landing” (7 p.m., ABC).

• “Christmas Is Here Again” (7 p.m., CW).

• “Shrek the Halls” (7:30 p.m., ABC).

• “Shrek the Third” (8 p.m., ABC)

• “A Christmas Wedding Date” (8 p.m., ION).

• “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (11 p.m., ABC Family).