'Tis the season to be jolly ... and to give gifts.
That said ... here are the Christmas presents I'd provide to Kansas University's basketball players if such generosity was allowed by the Scrooge-like NCAA.
To Jeremy Case: A rod and reel. Bet you didn't know one of his hobbies is bass fishing. ... And a job on the KU basketball staff for next season. He wants to follow in his dad's footsteps and be a coach. Win Case is head coach at El Reno (Okla.) Junior College.
Darnell Jackson: An Atlanta Falcons jersey, but not one worn by scoundrel Michael Vick. The Falcons happen to be Jackson's favorite non-basketball pro team.
Sasha Kaun: An autographed poster of Maria Sharapova. The tennis star is Kaun's favorite athlete outside of basketball, assuredly because of her ability on the court, not her good looks.
Russell Robinson: A tape of former KU public address announcer Hank Booth's introduction of Robinson at Jayhawk home games. It's pretty special the way the fans screamed "New York" following their cue from Booth. ... Also a copy of Frank Sinatra's Greatest Hits so Robinson can hear the song in its entirety on demand.
Rodrick Stewart: Boxing lessons from Laila Ali, since Rodrick seemed to take to the sport during rigorous conditioning last summer.
Brad Witherspoon: A silver spoon with a Jayhawk engraved on it. As the native Kansan says in KU's media guide, "I bleed Crimson and Blue."
Brennan Bechard: A job covering Kansas University sports in 2009-10 following graduation just like his uncle Harold, longtime KU beat writer for the Hutchinson News.
Mario Chalmers: A lifetime pass to the Great Alaska Shootout up in his hometown of Anchorage.
Matt Kleinmann: Free membership to any tanning salon in Lawrence or his hometown of Overland Park. The big redhead poked fun at himself in KU's media guide, in which he refers to himself as the man with the "Worst Tan in KU history." ... And Oversized Crimson and Blue blankets to go with his extra-long bed in his campus apartment.
Brandon Rush: Gift certificate to his favorite barbecue joint - Gates - in K.C. ... Along with an Indiana Pacers jersey with "Rush" on the back. Rush's brother, Kareem, plays for the Pacers.
Darrell Arthur: A trip to the Orange Bowl to watch his cousin, Dexton Fields, play against Virginia Tech.
Sherron Collins: All-he-can-eat pizza at Johnny's Tavern, perhaps the most delicious pie in town. He deserves a feast after watching his weight so strictly during his first two years at KU.
Brady Morningstar: A jersey retirement ceremony at Free State High after his KU career comes to a close.
Cole Aldrich: Season tickets to the Minnesota Twins, his favorite non-basketball pro sports team.
Chase Buford: A San Antonio Spurs world championship ring. His dad, the squad's GM, should be able to pull some strings.
Tyrel Reed: A gift certificate from Burlington Coat Factory.
Conner Teahan: Fishing and skiing excursion to Door County, Wis., which happens to be the three-point bomber's favorite vacation spot in the world. I've been to Door County. Don't knock it 'til you try it, folks.