Murderer-husband plans prison wedding to witness / LJWorld.com

Archive for Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Martin K. Miller met new wife through church

March 8, 2006

A Lawrence man in prison for murdering his wife is getting married again. The bride was a witness at his murder trial.

Martin K. Miller, a carpenter and former Christian-school leader, is serving a life sentence for the strangling death of his wife, Kansas University librarian Mary E. Miller.

This weekend at the state prison in Lansing, Miller is scheduled to marry Laura Cuthbertson, who testified on his behalf at his trial.

A small number of family members, including Martin Miller's parents, plan to attend the Saturday afternoon ceremony.

"I love my son. He's going through hard times. Somebody has been there to help him, and I'm very grateful for that," said Miller's father, Keith Miller, who said he would attend the ceremony with his wife, Ocoee. "That turned into a relationship that ended up in marriage. I'm happy for him and grateful that he has that kind of contact with people outside."

Prosecutors said Miller, the 47-year-old former board president of Veritas Christian School, killed Mary Miller in July 2004 so he could pursue relationships with other women. Before the death, he was having a sexual affair with a Eudora woman, Carrie Parbs, and had gone as far as exchanging rings with Parbs during a "commitment ceremony."

Martin Miller trial

Discussion

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8 March 2006
at 7:20 a.m.

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trinity (Anonymous) says…

this is just-sad, i guess.
8 March 2006
at 7:23 a.m.

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imagold (Anonymous) says…

Suppose the vows will include “till death do us part”? Good grief.
8 March 2006
at 7:29 a.m.

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Sigmund (Anonymous) says…

The ultimate bad boy, I guess.
8 March 2006
at 7:40 a.m.

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consumer1 (Anonymous) says…

Really unbelieveable ! Convicted Murderer's seem to have a pretty good batting average for getting women, (toby Young). And now, this. Ms. Cuthbertson, must be a really pathetic, lonely woman. I really can't understand this twisted logic of Kansas women. I suppose it happens all across the country, which makes it even more confusing. I guess my strategies are all wrong, I just need to kill a woman to get a woman. Watch out ladies…
8 March 2006
at 7:45 a.m.

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just_another_bozo_on_this_bus (Anonymous) says…

He's a bad Christian, was a bad carpenter, and a really bad husband and father. What is the appeal for this woman? It can't be the sex.
8 March 2006
at 8:03 a.m.

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trinity (Anonymous) says…

martyrdom, jabotb? i sure can't figure it out.
8 March 2006
at 8:05 a.m.

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Kookamooka (Anonymous) says…

Maybe she has a death wish. He sounds pretty flakey to me.

8 March 2006
at 8:14 a.m.

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Informed (Anonymous) says…

Leads me to wonder how her first husband died…
8 March 2006
at 8:54 a.m.

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mefirst (Anonymous) says…

WHY? I just don't get it.
8 March 2006
at 9:05 a.m.

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senegal66025 (Anonymous) says…

Love is blind.
8 March 2006
at 9:16 a.m.

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Jamesaust (Anonymous) says…

I remind readers from a year and so ago that voters in this state amended the Kansas Constitution under the guise that recognizing a marriage constitutes the full embrace and reservationless endorsement of that marriage by the people and state.

Good going Kansas!!

Its useful to know the exact parameters of “Kansas values.”
What next? Kiddie “marriages”?
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/30/nat…
Temp “marriages”?
http://www.usatoday.com/printedition/…
8 March 2006
at 9:17 a.m.

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enochville (Anonymous) says…

consumer1: You don't have to kill someone to get a spouse or girlfriend.

There will always be people out there that are desperate enough and have low enough self-esteem, that they will cling to anyone. Anyone could have a relationship with them. The key is we should have standards and be the type of person that will attract the type of people we want. I don't think you really want someone who is desperate enough to want to get married to an inprisoned murderer.
8 March 2006
at 9:34 a.m.

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crazyks (Anonymous) says…

Love is not only blind, it is apparently senseless as well. Although I doubt it's really love on her part. Probably just an ego in search of her fifteen minutes of fame. Looks like she got it.

This woman is bizarre, to say the least.
8 March 2006
at 9:47 a.m.

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badger (Anonymous) says…

You know, I find that Elizabeth Peters has the perfect response to this, with (paraphrased) “You know, true love and all that, yes, but a fellow can't go marrying a woman who's already killed one husband. One would always wonder if the morning coffee tasted a little funny, you know?”

I imagine she's sure she's certain of his innocence in her heart. But someday, he may be released on parole. Perhaps (unlikely) his appeal will overturn the conviction. Then one night she's going to wake up in the middle of the night, and he's going to be on the computer in the next room, and she's not going to be able to help herself. She is going to wonder what it is he's looking up. Trust is pretty easy to kill, all things considered, and once that crack starts, it's a short step to checking the internet history every day and checking up on someone, maybe even getting a little nervous about how the coffee tastes.

She knows he's an adulterer, and he's a convicted murderer in prison. I just can't see how she can think he's any sort of positive relationship choice.
8 March 2006
at 9:51 a.m.

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crazyks (Anonymous) says…

Maybe she's counting on him never getting out.

8 March 2006
at 9:54 a.m.

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jimincountry (Anonymous) says…

The guy and woman are not the sad thing; it's the story and its impact on his children that is sad. Shakes one's belief in …… lots of things.
8 March 2006
at 9:55 a.m.

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bearded_gnome (Anonymous) says…

however,
she *always* knows where he is while he's under the care and feeding of the kansas prison system!

enochville, perhaps other motivations: you wonder if she has some self-destructive motives? or some ideas of being a hero…”I was the woman who turned him around” “I was so brave to marry a man other women wouldn't?”

whew!
8 March 2006
at 9:59 a.m.

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justthefacts (Anonymous) says…

I remember seeing a TV documentary on the topic of women who marry convicts (or men who marry female inmates). It was said that the “pull” was in having a mate who was “Safe” = meaning you KNOW where they are at all times, without being so tied down on a day to day basis. This way, the outside mate “gets” to be married without having to do a lot of the things it takes to make such relationships work. They are exotic and unusual (which some people crave). Plus, he can't be cheating on you (much)! I believe the show ended up by saying that the vast number of such relationships fall apart if/when the prisoner ever gets out.
8 March 2006
at 9:59 a.m.

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kansas_prairieland (Anonymous) says…

Well, if Miller can't have “intimate visits” with his new bride……then that's okay. I'm sure he's still getting lots of sex anyway!!

I mean, he looks kind of wimpy to me! I bet many of them tattooed weight-lifting inmates have already made him their “bride”!!
8 March 2006
at 10:10 a.m.

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jumblaman (Anonymous) says…

There are many women like this. Evolutionary theory suggests that a woman who is protected by a bad boy would have a greater chance to produce and rear children.
8 March 2006
at 10:17 a.m.

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samsnewplace (Anonymous) says…

unfortunately this is like a really bad Lifetime movie, and those again are usually true stories. makes me nautious just to read this kind of garbage. this laura should go seek professional help, obviously her church isn't helping her or anyone else one bit….look what type of people it's producing in our society. yuk!
8 March 2006
at 11:09 a.m.

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shanefivedyes (Anonymous) says…

I just dont get it either.
8 March 2006
at 11:14 a.m.

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Confrontation (Anonymous) says…

“I love my son. He's going through hard times.” Well, his times are not nearly as hard as Mary's. I bet this Cuthbertson just has the same sick fantasy as him, and she dreams of him being released to share in her sadism. There should really be a law against this. Why should a man who murdered his spouse be allowed to remarry in prision?

8 March 2006
at 11:53 a.m.

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Informed (Anonymous) says…

OTTR — No, she doesn't have children.
8 March 2006
at 11:56 a.m.

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nbnozzy (Anonymous) says…

It is just plain retarded in my opinion for the state of Kansas to allow a convicted murderer to marry because he is straight and yet deny law abiding gays and lesbians the same priviledge. The hypocrisy is deafening.
8 March 2006
at 11:59 a.m.

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Hong_Kong_Phooey (Anonymous) says…

Because THESE are 'The Days of Our Lives'…

Who knew that such love triangles existed in Kansas!! I find it ironic that this is happening in the Bible belt. People here love to espouse the ideals of the Bible but actually fall WAY short of living them. I guess that explains why the divorce rate and adultery are higher among folks living in the Bible belt.
8 March 2006
at 12:27 p.m.

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misplacedcheesehead (Anonymous) says…

Oh boy! I just about lost my lunch when I read this.

I'm relieved to say that Laura has no children to be further scarred by this. She was in an abusive marriage previously; so, she moves “up” to a higher standard with Marty??
Give me a break.
I hate to say this, but even after the trial and all it's explosive testimony, there are still people out there who think Miller is innocent. These are the same folks to whom we could probably sell a piece of the Brooklyn bridge!

Consumer1, don't be so hard on yourself. From a woman, I'll give you a few hints. Perfection is not necessary. Integrity is. Faithfullness is. Personally, I'd still love to see proof of a “Christian” man who actually has the gonads to walk out what he says he believes. And, not being secretly married to a Nigerian sheister while you're dating another woman is also a requirement.
Okay, I digress. Anyway, please everyone, don't think of Miller as a bad Christian. Anyone, male or female, who can do the things he has was likely never truly converted, anyway. There's a word for you, Marty Miller-TRASH!!
8 March 2006
at 12:34 p.m.

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kristyj (Anonymous) says…

well, i'm somehow reminded of the sage adviced offered by the nanny in “You've Got Mail”…”Never marry a man who lies.” or one who cheats on his wife, or murders his wife, or spends most of his income on porn, or doesn't take care of his kids…..and lies about all of that. jeez, what is that woman thinking?
8 March 2006
at 12:46 p.m.

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wonderhorse (Anonymous) says…

“It is just plain retarded in my opinion for the state of Kansas to allow a convicted murderer to marry because he is straight and yet deny law abiding gays and lesbians the same priviledge. The hypocrisy is deafening.” Sorry, you've got apples and oranges mixed together. I am all for allowing gay marriage, but this is not the argument to make.

“or spends most of his income on porn….” Where did you get this fact? Please post a cite.

I find it incredible that any woman would want to marry this man. Killed his wife for a girlfriend, left or was left by said girlfriend, and now has another woman to marry. Ladies, buy a vowel.
8 March 2006
at 1:06 p.m.

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wonderhorse (Anonymous) says…

“More power to ya Marty.”

Except, I liked Mary. She was a little 'straight-laced', but had a nice sense of humor.
8 March 2006
at 1:18 p.m.

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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…

enochville- “There will always be people out there that are desperate enough and have low enough self-esteem, that they will cling to anyone. Anyone could have a relationship with them. The key is we should have standards and be the type of person that will attract the type of people we want. I don't think you really want someone who is desperate enough to want to get married to an inprisoned murderer.”

Interesting. This reads like a woman is attracting men of lower, unwanted qualities? I know professors of high standing at KU, business men here in town, professionals with remarkable careers, very attractive persons in lifestyle,family,etc. And yet I also know they think nothing of using a woman for what they want, for as long as they are amused, find it convenient, without any emotion. It doesn't matter the woman's exact status, as long as she can be convinced they find her acceptable enough for them..until they choose to dump her, or she realizes their true colors.

It is very much a man's world.
Perhaps this woman seeks a “vacant” marriage, one at a distance, one that can't hurt her on a daily basis?
One that in the long run, gets her things like, Soc. Sec?, possible life insurance, the dream of old age redemption? The need to not be looking anymore?

Perhaps the thought that she's actually found a man who knows something about sex, but will have mellowed to monogamy by the time he gets out?

Like most men can be truly monogamous?
hahahahahaha

8 March 2006
at 1:30 p.m.

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wonderhorse (Anonymous) says…

“And yet I also know they think nothing of using a woman for what they want, for as long as they are amused, find it convenient, without any emotion.” And I know women who do the same thing to men.
8 March 2006
at 1:39 p.m.

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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…

Wonderhorse..my “colleagues” would consider you lucky!
They would also ask for their numbers.
8 March 2006
at 1:44 p.m.

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kristyj (Anonymous) says…

wonderhorse- as for the income on porn comment (good for you for asking)- This is a comment of my own opinion and judgement although through various circumstances, i've known the Miller family since before the kids were born and i saw how the family lived at a low-income level even though The Carpenter Shop seemed to do a decent business. After hearing about his extensive porn collection and his need to purchase a new computer to view porn after the cops took his first one, I started wondering about how much money he was pouring into his habit. So then I heard that he had bought a house in Eudora to meet woman #2 at for their various adventures. So maybe I should rephrase my comment to say “spent most of his income on his sexual addictions.”
8 March 2006
at 1:45 p.m.

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wonderhorse (Anonymous) says…

“..my “colleagues” would consider you lucky!”

Well, maybe. Unfortuantely, I have had the 'gentleman' streak permanently etched on my back…my mom and dad are guilty of raising me to believe that people should be treated right, and not used. The lesson stuck. I am by no means a prude, I just don't believe in men using women, or women using men.
8 March 2006
at 1:55 p.m.

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wonderhorse (Anonymous) says…

kristyj

OK, I can understand that. I used to work with Mary, and, as I said above, liked her. I guess I'm finally starting a grieving process.
8 March 2006
at 1:59 p.m.

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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…

kristyj..thanks for the info…an interesting twist!

wonderhourse..I applaud you. I was raised one way, apparently similar to you. I just can't seem to find it in the real world. I'm amazed at the calibur of people who act in the most horrific ways. It has caused me to wonder if the method of my upbringing was totally wrong, especially since my own “perfect” mother turned out to be living her own “Dynasty/Dallas fantasy” and used and betrayed everything she had ever taught me in life.

I question the ways I should be raising my own children. Perhaps a more military, “use, kill or be killed” method is what is necessary in today's world. Is ruthless what is needed?
8 March 2006
at 2:10 p.m.

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wonderhorse (Anonymous) says…

MD

Don't know. I was an air force brat, myself. I was raised to say “sir” and “ma'am”, although I was not required to address my parents that way. I have a 19 yr old son and a 15 yr old son. They are as different as night and day. The 19 yr old is finally starting to come to terms with the world as it exists, rather than trying to mold it into what he wants it to be. The 15 yr old thinks the older one is an idiot, and needs to grow up. I'm happy for the steps he is now taking (got a job, a steady girlfriend, etc.) Kids should come with an owner's manual….
8 March 2006
at 2:52 p.m.

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OldEnuf2BYurDad (Anonymous) says…

I'm not surprised that a woman is marrying a convict. That happens all the time. But, this woman was worshipping at Victory Bible when all the horror and pain of this atrocity was played out in front of all. How could she SEE his TRUE potential in that way, and still want to be his soul mate?

Women like that Toby-dog-trainer get duped by men who feed them lies. Marty Miller killed a woman that she used to worship with… with his own hands! She REALLY knows what he's made of.

Where is her family in this? Where is the leadership of Victory BC in this? Yes, she's an adult and can make her own decisions (mistakes), but it seems she needs someone in her life to yank her back.

I'm not at all surprised, however, that the woman was good buddies with Marty's former S&M partner. They are the same kind of women, attracted to the same kind of man.

Where is the A-Team when you need them?

8 March 2006
at 3:05 p.m.

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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…

My guess? She has no A-Team, B-team or anyone else, and hasn't for most of her life. That's the problem.
8 March 2006
at 3:06 p.m.

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consumer1 (Anonymous) says…

Thanks for all the comforting comments about me not having to murder a woman to get one. I was just kidding. I really am not that desperate. It just surprises me that so many women are attracted to bad guys. I used to be somewhat of a bad guy, but didn't like myself, so I began the process of change. Now, I am a very nice man who treats women with respect, try to support and empower them to reach their dreams. There is only one problem, now that I am a nice guy I can't find a woman… right gootsie??
8 March 2006
at 3:23 p.m.

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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…

Depends on the age…old guys just can't finish!
8 March 2006
at 3:34 p.m.

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consumer1 (Anonymous) says…

HEck ! I don't want to finish. I enjoy the process way too much.
8 March 2006
at 3:46 p.m.

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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…

I agree, I dread the onset of age problems!
8 March 2006
at 4:15 p.m.

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songofabirdtongue (Anonymous) says…

If you look in the photo album at the first picture with miller's parents there is a woman standing behind them that is laura, maybe now you can SEE why she would marry a convicted murderer
Also oldenuf2beyurdad- Laura is no longer a member of victory bible church and she had left before Mary's murder and attended a different church so don't let this reflect back on Victory
8 March 2006
at 4:20 p.m.

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badger (Anonymous) says…

Well, that was a pretty nasty, hateful thing to say.

I suppose it's better to have vicious cattiness reflecting back on Victory Bible Church than emotional instability and poor romantic decision-making.

Is that your point, there, songofabirdtongue?
8 March 2006
at 4:22 p.m.

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Informed (Anonymous) says…

Song, you're right. In fact, Laura has a long history of leaving churches whenever she's questioned or called into account of things. Rather than be confronted, she leaves any time she feels uncomfortable.

8 March 2006
at 4:40 p.m.

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OldEnuf2BYurDad (Anonymous) says…

Songbird,

That explaination makes sense. She's almost HAVE to start isolating herself from the sane people in her life to make a bonehead decision like this.

There are some good folks at VBC. I didn't mean to be disparaging toward the church.
8 March 2006
at 4:44 p.m.

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OldEnuf2BYurDad (Anonymous) says…

Informed,

It sounds like Laura may be a religious addict. Jumping from church to church with what the Bible calls “itching ears”. Looking for satisfaction in the wrong ways.

Wow… she's marrying the guy. I still cannot wrap my head around that one.
8 March 2006
at 4:45 p.m.

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songofabirdtongue (Anonymous) says…

Badger-It shouldn't reflect on Victory because i don't go to Victory and i apologize for the comment it was out of line but having known laura and trusted her for a while then have my trust betrayed you could say i have a little bit of a dislike for her
8 March 2006
at 5:17 p.m.

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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…

Badger…your most excellent post ever!

informed…your post…the best reason for people to never attend a church ever! Back stabbing, nosey, non-christian behavior.

She ought to marry the man, just for revenge at all of you so called christians!
8 March 2006
at 6:56 p.m.

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Jamesaust (Anonymous) says…

Suppose he will begin badgering his kids to call her “Mommy” soon? *spew*
8 March 2006
at 7:54 p.m.

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sweetpeagj (Anonymous) says…

First..Laura's husband died while they were sleeping..there was no thougth from anyone that she killed her husband and that is in poor taste to even say something like that. Secondly, Marty did not buy a house in Eudora..Carrie rented one to be closer to Marty
Third..Mary had knowledge of his addiction to porn and was working with him on it..this addiction has been around longer than his kids Fourth..being Christian or not doesn't come into play with anything Marty may or may not have done. People throw around religion like it was their shirt size and not a code of conduct to live buy.
If Marty did murder Mary it had nothing to do with porn, money, or religious beliefs. We all have an opinion on wether he did it or not but it doesn't give anyone the right to hurt or belittle someone else..ie..Laura for her choices. If the truth really wants to be known Marty also broke it off with Carrie when this all started happening. Mary had been upset before she died for a few months and even her kids believed she had suspected Marty was cheating. Why can't people stop looking for fault and hope that the kids all grow up to be healthy, happy adults who have lost both parents. Why would you all have an opinion on him getting married or rotting in prison? Yes, Lauara is wierd but that is not for any of us to judge but yet let's degrade her appearance because we are all hunks and babes posting on here right?
8 March 2006
at 8:23 p.m.

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sweetpeagj (Anonymous) says…

nobody said I was a christian..by the way..I'm not..I actually sat through the entire trial and am still wondering what evidence he was convicted on. The onlt truth of what happened is known only to Mary, Marty and God. We all pretend to be able to judge fairly on what we are presented with ( and in most cases from the LJW it isn't the full truth) but reality is we judge according to our beliefs not on what evidence is presented. OMG..Porn, affairs, dead wife..yup he killed her. I just wish we could get past whatever or whomever he is doing and be more concerned with helping Mary's beautiful children to grow up and be healthy and happy adults. Can you honeslty say that you care if he marries anyone? I don't let him or not. My life will still go on and Mary's won't. The kids will still have to be without both parents..this shouldn't even be an issue.
8 March 2006
at 9:19 p.m.

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srj (Anonymous) says…

Getting well off-topic. But anyway, why is this a surprise? Women are carzy. Men are stupid. How humans are still on top of the food chain I will never know :)

8 March 2006
at 10:06 p.m.

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Ceallach (Anonymous) says…

The guise of religion is often used by people to accomplish their own agendas. Improve their “image,” make business contacts, trying to establish an air of trust they do not deserve, the list is endless.

Taking on the name of the Christ does not make one a Christian (neither does believing everything someone says because they claim to be Christian). Their lack of sincerity will ALWAYS be exposed, it's just a matter of time. Even those who are truly committed to follow the teaching of Christ fall short in their effort to always live in a way that honors God. We will never be perfect, but should strive to be the best person we can be. True followers of Christ do not habitually act in ways that are destructive to themselves and the people they have been given to protect and love. For several years this man had been displaying habitual disregard for anyone or anything but himself (example, poor Marty's ongoing battle with sexual addiction and porn). Without the walk, no one should give any credence to the talk, whether it be a person claiming to be a Christian, or claiming to be your friend. If they are consistently betraying your trust or the trust of others, then they are not capable of being anyone's friend.

The players in this drama are classic examples of the harm that can result from people taking Christ's name in vain.

Most of us are just trying to live our lives in such a way that we treat others as we would like to be treated — but we seldom make the headlines.
8 March 2006
at 10:50 p.m.

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bearded_gnome (Anonymous) says…

well said Ceallach,
thank you.
8 March 2006
at 11:36 p.m.

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doctorJ (Anonymous) says…

victory bible church has stood by the many sinners of this community!
So the spot light shines on those that have gone astray, but what about the many lives that were changed because of Rev. Barbies commitment to this community!
Perhaps in the end we all will see:

what we do for ourselves alone with us dies,
What we do for others is where our immortality lies!
10 March 2006
at 8:07 a.m.

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MacHeath (Anonymous) says…

yeah doctor, and lucky for the Rev. Barbie, there doesn't seem to be a short supply of sinners at the Victroy Bible Chapel. Now what happeded to Cuthbertson's husband? The gossip on that one is fairly interesting…
24 January 2007
at 8:47 p.m.

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wheremyshoes (Anonymous) says…

This forum is more punishing than prison.