The best of your 'Worst Poetry'

Posted by Lindsey Slater August 19, 2009 at 10:24 a.m.

I really thought I'd get more submissions than I did for bad poetry. Thought the commenters would be all over this one.

Hands down, this was my favorite of the entries I got. If you're a regular on the comment boards, the author will look familiar.

"I wake up all too often
and have to leave the bed.
I'd much prefer to lie there
and rest my weary head.

I come to this recliner
not wanting to partake
of any more bombardments
the Internet can make.

Bad feet will not consider
a trip to the TV,
to change another movie
and I really need to pee.

So once again you'll find me
sitting where you read me last,
at least I have not sat so long
my skin is sticking fast.

That WOULD be just the ending,
for you to read about my fate,
“What happened to Old Multi…
haven't heard from her of late?”

They found her where she always was,
her mouse in hand, eyes crusted.
The URL read by the cop
“One millionth comment posted”

Multidisciplinary, Aug 18th 2009"

Oh, man. Good stuff.

I also really like this one:
"Sarah Palin Sarah Palin
Oh and Michael Vick
Michael Jackson dies
Bob Novak gets the stick

Wild dogs in Georgia
Pregnant moms and SUVs
Al Gore's carbon footprint
Don't cut down the trees

Anger over taxes
Anger over wealth
Anger over anything
That has to do with health

Another day on ljworld
Fishing for debris
Can't get this kind of comedy
Anywhere on TV
- jonas_opines

Feel free to add more bad poetry below. Get creative!

Copy and paste the link:

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RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

My verse too good,
To make the list?

Oh, man, now that's
A bummer..

I'll think about it,
For a while,

The next should be
A hummer !
August 19, 2009 at 3:31 p.m.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

Ronda, schula, Multi, too,
Welcomed me
Into this zoo!

jonas, tange and
Even bea,

Could have tried
To caution me.

If I just knew then
What I don't know now,

I'd probably be here
Anyhow.

So now a "Toast",
To posters all,

"Here's to LJW posters,
%&$# 'em all!

- -*RoeDapple* - -

(Just kiddin' gang, love every one of you!)
August 19, 2009 at 7:24 p.m.
JJE007 (anonymous) says…

-nothing to say but here-

here
take this
beyond the blank page
take this into your heart
sit in the focused chair of theatre
awaiting the play
eat corn and drink sugar

there is nothing in the vision
of others
necessarily taking you
higher than the stalks you wade
where there is nothing grand
beyond your taking
on your own time

so is this read the gift
that you seek
your own destination written
in the ever doubtful artistic quest
without the worked vision bought with corporate funs
housed by a master
in your own space

here
there is nothing in the vision
so is this read the gift
awaiting the play
beyond your taking
housed by a master
sit in the focused chair of theatre
where there is nothing grand
without the worked vision bought with corporate funs

take this
of others
that you seek
take this into your heart
higher than the stalks you wade
in the ever doubtful artistic quest
beyond the blank page
necessarily taking you
your own destination written

eat corn and drink sugar
on your own time
in your own space
August 19, 2009 at 8:37 p.m.