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It's Bad Poetry Day - what you got to say?
So, I stumbled upon the the worst poetry in Chicago and it's pretty terrible. The first one is about Oprah and it's hysterical. Turns out today is Bad Poetry Day!
I want your worst poetry. You can email me or just post your worst in the comments. I promise to read them all and post some of my favorite examples of the worst poems you can conjure up. Make your high school poetry teacher cringe.
Here's mine (brace yourself):
Oh, Darnell Jackson
How I love your action
Running up and down the court
You're such a good sport
You started at KU
Oh, the things you would do
Like becoming a national champ
And heading off to the Cavalier's camp
Not only can you ball
Your heart is as big as Fraser Hall
Supporting the Boys and Girls Club
You're never one to snub
So my bad poem is for you
My favorite number, 32
Forever you'll be my favorite big man
To Darnell Jackson, Love your number one fan.
Wow, I even amazed myself on that one. Show me your stuff! Go, bad poetry, go!
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18 August 2009
at 2:35 p.m.
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AlfVenison (Anonymous) says…
The Sunday poetry showcase in the arts and entertainment section of the paper usually provides a sample of bad verse. I guess you could say that in Lawrence every Sunday is Bad Poetry Day.
18 August 2009
at 2:48 p.m.
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RoeDapple (Anonymous) says…
To help this old heart,
Keep on tickin'
I quit goin'
To KF Chicken.
Smokin' Cigs,
I must agree,
Soon would be the,
Demise of me.
I've given up
Most of my vice,
Cause after all,
You don't live twice!
- - -*RoeDapple* - - -
18 August 2009
at 3:03 p.m.
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Irish (Irish Swearingen) says…
I like football,
I like tee,
I like coffee,
Don't like tea.
I like Colt 45,
In the bottle,
Or in the can,
I will take it,
Any way I can.
Well, it rhymes.
Yours is much better, Roe!
18 August 2009
at 4:19 p.m.
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consumer1 (Anonymous) says…
Heaven help me if you can
I lost my virginity
to a man
He was ugly
quite a fright
so I waited til near midnight
He kissed my lips
and said goodbye
while his nose poked in my eye
I shouted out with agony
as his car key scratched my knee.
He lept to his feet
and comenced to runnin
cause he thought my pa was gunnin.
He hit the door in seconds flat
and left my laying there,
…that dirty rat.
con1
18 August 2009
at 4:21 p.m.
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zettapixel (Anonymous) says…
“Please Flush Only Poop, Pee, and T.P.”
A sign put up in the bathroom after someone clogged up our toilet.
18 August 2009
at 4:30 p.m.
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walkingonwater (Anonymous) says…
Will sex be great when I'm 98?
It might be, but I won't participate.
Nipsey Russell, 1978
18 August 2009
at 4:43 p.m.
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jonas_opines (Anonymous) says…
Sarah Palin Sarah Palin
Oh and Michael Vick
Michael Jackson dies
Bob Novak gets the stick
Wild dogs in Georgia
Pregnant moms and SUVs
Al Gore's carbon footprint
Don't cut down the trees
Anger over taxes
Anger over wealth
Anger over anything
That has to do with health
Another day on ljworld
Fishing for debris
Can't get this kind of comedy
Anywhere on TV
18 August 2009
at 4:51 p.m.
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schula (Anonymous) says…
You guys write good “bad poetry”! Thanks for all the laughs!
18 August 2009
at 6:04 p.m.
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Marion (Marion Lynn) says…
The Chad Mitchell Trio wrote in 1964:
“We've licked pneumonia and TB
And plagues that used to mock us
We've got the onus on the Sun
The small pox cannot pock us
We found the antibodies for the staphylostreptococcus
But oh the universal curse
From Vietnam to Korea
The bug of bugs that bugs us still
And begs for panacea
Oh, who will find the antidote for………
Pentagonorrhea?”
18 August 2009
at 11 p.m.
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Multidisciplinary (Anonymous) says…
I wake up all to often
and have to leave the bed.
I'd much prefer to lie there
and rest my weary head.
I come to this recliner
not wanting to partake
of any more bombardments
the Internet can make.
Bad feet will not consider
a trip to the TV,
to change another movie
and I really need to pee.
So once again you'll find me
sitting where you read me last,
at least I have not sat so long
my skin is sticking fast.
That WOULD be just the ending,
for you to read about my fate,
“What happened to Old Multi…
haven't heard from her of late?”
They found her where she always was,
her mouse in hand, eyes crusted.
The URL read by the cop
“One millionth comment posted”
- Multi Aug 18th 2009
19 August 2009
at 12:56 a.m.
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lawthing (Anonymous) says…
so many many posters
some I admit quite musing
and boy the heat turns up
when a poster feels their loosing!
LJWorld you give me
that added laugh a day
If not because of the story
then what the posters had to say!
Yea I keep cum'n back
You got me on your hook
the stories and the posters
make me take that second look!