Archive for Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Comedian finds temporary lodging at Ikea store

January 9, 2008

Advertisement

Mark Malkoff, a comedian and filmmaker, sits on a display bed Monday in a showroom at the Ikea store in Paramus, N.J. Malkoff has permission from Ikea to live in the store until Sunday while his own New York City apartment is fumigated.

Mark Malkoff, a comedian and filmmaker, sits on a display bed Monday in a showroom at the Ikea store in Paramus, N.J. Malkoff has permission from Ikea to live in the store until Sunday while his own New York City apartment is fumigated.

— When Mark Malkoff thought about where he could stay while his New York City apartment was being fumigated for cockroaches, he quickly ruled out friends' places (too small) and hotels (too expensive).

Instead, the comedian and filmmaker decided to move into an Ikea store in suburban New Jersey, where on Monday he unloaded two suitcases into a spacious bedroom at the store.

At night when the store is closed, he says he'll play laser tag with security guards and even plans to host a housewarming party.

"The fact that Ikea is letting me do this is mind-boggling," said Malkoff, lounging on a bed in his new room. "There's no way I'm going back. I love this way too much."

Malkoff, who works for Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" as a ticket handler, is allowed to stay until Ikea closes at about midnight on Saturday; the store, famous for its low-cost do-it-yourself furniture, is closed on Sundays.

Malkoff, 31, is known for his 2007 video "171 Starbucks" which documents his visits to all of the coffee chain's Manhattan stores in a single day.

Deputy store manager Julie Mott said Malkoff contacted the store about three weeks ago and presented a proposal to move in.

"We thought it would be a lot of fun and interesting," Mott said. "We're not really sure what this week holds."

He is being followed by a camera crew documenting his stay for a video, which will be shown on his Web site, www.marklivesinikea.com.

But despite the hospitality, Malkoff did find a few problems: The sinks don't work, and neither does the toilet, refrigerator, flat-screen television or the washer and dryer.

"Is anything real in this place?" he asked.

He must shower in the staff locker room and will have access to the staff cafeteria to cook his own meals, if he chooses, Mott said.

However, the Ikea display does offer more spacious living than his two-bedroom Queens apartment.

"I feel like I'm on the set of 'Friends,'" he said, adding that he has met a few new faux friends - customers who wandered into his new apartment.

His wife of 2 1/2 years, Christine, isn't as thrilled with his new digs and has instead opted to stay with relatives in upstate New York.

"For some reason," he said, "she doesn't want to live in a store."

Comments

Janet Lowther 7 years, 3 months ago

Fumigation for cockroaches? It rarely works. What DOES work is simple, non-toxic and works especially well this time of year: Cold. Turn off the heat and let the temperature get down into the 30s or 40s.

The common brown "German" Cockroaches are tropical insects (probably really from Southeast Asia) and die if the temperature is below about 60 for very long.

I had some tenants move out leaving a horrible cockroach infestation. So bad the varmints had ruined all the GFI outlets.I didn't immediately notice the gas was turned off, since we were having a warm spell. Then the weather turned cold and the outside temps dropped into the teens and the inside temps dropped into the 40s. No one has seen a live cockroach in there since.

Commenting has been disabled for this item.