In his new book, “The Secrets Men Keep: How Men Make Life and Love Tougher Than It Has to Be,” Stephen Arterburn, an author, ministry founder and radio host, posits that men are complicated jumbles of secrets – about their needs, aspirations, frustrations, etc. – which limits their potential as husbands and human beings.

Among his findings:

1. “There are a lot of men who are keeping church-avoidance a secret,” particularly those who are turned off by the passivity of religious services.

2. Affirmation for accomplishments is important for a boy, but it should complement unconditional affirmation. Otherwise he leaves home “trained to perform in order to continue hearing the words of acceptance he so desperately needs.”

3. Modern speed of communication has forced men (and women) to make more immediate decisions, which creates stress. “We lose the time to think and to reflect.”

4. It’s good to financially support one’s family, but not when money becomes the end rather than the means. “Walking the fine line between the two is every man’s calling.”

5. “A wife’s willingness to explore changes leading to her husband’s fulfillment in his career is a godsend for a man.” – Chicago Tribune