Can’t stand the heat? Skip ‘Hell’s Kitchen’

Reality TV has died and gone to “Hell’s Kitchen” (8 p.m., Fox).

OK, maybe that’s an exaggeration. Careful readers of this column know that I’ve been trying to drive a stake through the heart of the reality genre ever since “Survivor” began. But if “Hell’s Kitchen” is any indication, the format is slowly killing itself without any help from me.

As the title implies, “Hell’s Kitchen” is set in a restaurant (just like “The Restaurant”), where a group of would-be apprentices (just like “The Apprentice”) get screamed at and humiliated by an angry and opinionated Brit (as in “The Weakest Link” and “American Idol”).

Even Gordon Ramsey, the hideous star of “Hell’s,” isn’t original. He appears in a much better show called “Kitchen Nightmares,” seen on BBC America. In “Nightmares,” Ramsey is a consultant who tries to save failing restaurants. He’s a competent professional who has to suffer foodie fools as they drive their businesses into the ground. He’s the voice of reason.

On “Hell’s Kitchen,” he’s a swaggering, foul-mouthed bully who brutalizes a bevy of would-be restaurateurs. When they introduce themselves to him with their favorite dishes, he reacts with a torrent of profanity, throwing food around and spitting it on the floor. He’s a hateful teacher who doesn’t teach. And he’s on camera about 80 percent of the time.

Someone at Fox forgot the rules of reality. On successful shows like “Idol,” “Survivor” and “Apprentice,” the star/host/judges appear for about five minutes, allowing the contestants to become stars. With its emphasis on an overbearing British personality, “Hell’s Kitchen” is reminiscent of the doomed, boring Richard Branson reality series/vanity vehicle that Fox foisted on us last fall.

Tonight’s other highlights

¢ Set in the political turmoil of post-Soviet Russia, the 2005 cable drama “Icon” (6 p.m., Hallmark) stars Patrick Swayze.

¢ A spunky 11-year-old girl communes with magical creatures in the new animated series “The Life & Times of Juniper Lee” (6 p.m., Cartoon Network), created by comic book artist and “Real World” veteran Judd Winnick.

¢ NBA conference finals (7:30 p.m., ABC).

¢ Peter needs serious help on “Everybody Loves Raymond” (8 p.m., CBS).

¢ Tears, tiaras and tantrums on the “Miss Universe 2005 Pageant” (8 p.m., NBC).

¢ A team member is lost on “CSI: Miami” (9 p.m., CBS).