A “Candid Camera”-style show with the malignant heart of a Hilton sister, “Fire Me … Please” (8 p.m., CBS) follows two actors as they embark on new jobs with the express purpose of getting pink-slipped as close to, but not after, 3 p.m. The winner receives a prize of $25,000.

In the opening segment, a burly comedian wannabe acts progressively more deranged at his coffee-shop job, eventually requiring his boss to call the police. His female competitor works at a boutique with an airhead attitude, mishandling the merchandise and generally annoying her colleagues and wasting their time.

The put-on unfolds with the complete cooperation of the businesses involved, but their mere employees remain in the dark. Apparently, we’re supposed to be amused by their discomfort and fear.

Other highlights

¢ A program from 1978 is recalled in the 2005 biography “Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Mork & Mindy” (7 p.m., NBC).

¢ Rory’s casual fling stuns Lorelai on “Gilmore Girls” (7 p.m., WB).

¢ A polar expedition discovers a flesh-eating alien in the seminal 1951 shocker “The Thing from Another World” (7 p.m., Turner Classic Movies).

¢ House breaks the rules and plays a hunch on “House” (8 p.m., Fox).

¢ A self-involved hairdresser caters to a posh clientele on the second-season premiere of “Blow Out” (8 p.m., Bravo).

¢ Scheduled on “48 Hours Mystery” (9 p.m., CBS, r): a policeman’s dark theories about his own father.

¢ Mary Stuart Masterson appears on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (9 p.m., NBC).

¢ Diane Sawyer interviews Brad Pitt on “Primetime Live” (9 p.m., ABC).

¢ The documentary “Chavez Ravine” on “Independent Lens” (9 p.m., PBS) looks at the community of Mexican-Americans who were displaced to make way for Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles.

¢ Members of the Boston Red Sox undergo a makeover on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” (9 p.m., Bravo).