Ninth season of ‘American Idol’ provides memorable kickoff

Even though the players may retire, get traded or released, the team remains on the field.

That’s the reality of professional sports … and the reality behind reality TV icon “American Idol.”

Now entering its 9th season, the most juggernauty of all prime time’s juggernauts embraced its backstage drama with full gusto by delivering one of its least annoying premieres yet. It was filled with hopeful, adorable people who generated enough heartbreaking back stories to fill up the rest of Oprah’s final season.

And there was a crazy guy.

Well, he was probably less crazy than the Fox editing tricks made him out to be, but a fella named Andrew Fenlon brought his Replay Lounge image and prison work-release attitude to the audition. The result was one awkward confrontation after another both before and after his not-so-awful delivery of “House of the Rising Sun.”

First he was harpooned by judge Simon Cowell as being a “smart ass” then assailed by judge Kara DioGuardi, who flat out admitted to Fenlon’s face: “You, I don’t like at all.” It was enough for Fenlon to remove his overbearingly chunky black frame glasses in frustration — no doubt to be replaced next with a sniper scope.

Man, creepy people make for good TV.

Oh yeah, the judges …

The big off-season story was the non-rehiring of Paula Abdul, who was summarily replaced by comedian Ellen DeGeneres. This bombshell was eclipsed Monday by the much more troubling news Cowell would be departing after this season.

Thus it was rather disappointing that newbie DeGeneres wasn’t yet able to be de-generous with her time — these rounds were taped before her hiring, so she was absent during the opening audition in Boston. In her seat was lovely-though-emaciated Victoria Beckham, whose tenure with The Spice Girls offered her a more apropos judging leg to stand on than that of a non-musical talk show host. But the flip side was Beckham wasn’t funny at all. (At least it was entertaining to see how many times she offered the words “look” and “outfit” during her critiques, as opposed to “vocals” or “talent.” A perfect display of style over substance from the quintessential manufactured pop star.)

Was the show worth watching? Absolutely, thanks to a much higher ratio than normal of good/likeable contestants to bad/irritating ones. As always, it’s easy to be charmed by watching people who have no “in” to the music industry taking advantage of their one Golden Ticket chance courtesy of a stirring try-out.

Stay tuned for more Culture Crumbs commentary on “American Idol.” Our weekly assessment resumes when the round of 24 hits the stage. Hopefully, the remaining judges can stick around that long.