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OK, so apparently the folks at Lifetime didn’t share the memo with the folks at Bravo about my joint “Top Chef” and “Project Runway” blog. No new “Top Chef” this week means no new joint blog, which means we’re back to just a “Project Runway” blog this week.

Ugh.

It also seems that the folks at Lifetime skipped over the section in the memo that talked about how everybody — and I mean EVERYBODY — I’ve talked with about the show thinks this season of “Project Runway” is a total bust. It’s one giant, honking “fail whale” as the folks on Twitter would say.

As we’ve discussed before, this season lacks good challenges, interesting contestants, drama and talent. And by lacking, I really mean anemic, deficient, devoid.

And this makes me truly sad. Not only did I not get my healthy shot of “Top Chef” and the sexy Voltaggio brothers this week, I got an especially uninspired, sellout, craptactular edition of “Project Runway” or should I say “Macy’s Project Runway for Lifetime.”

Of course, product placement is nothing new on reality shows — it’s how they really make their money. But somehow this episode seemed like the show sold its soul (however small that may be) to Macy’s. Not only has Macy’s replaced Bluefly.com as the show’s accessories supplier, but in this episode the department store was also the client.

The challenge? To look at the store’s Inc. line of clothing, and in teams of two, design two blue looks that would work with the Inc. aesthetic.

Wow, some challenge, design a BLUE dress. Isn’t this the show that used to make people design with plants? Car parts? Candy?

Blue: Now that’s a challenge.

What’s worse is because the show has been on the shelf so long thanks to the legal battle between its production company and old network Bravo, we didn’t even really get to see any of the Inc. clothes that the designers were supposed to mesh their outfits with. I’m sure the thinking was “This line is two years old, we can’t show anyone things they can no longer buy” — but still, the omission gave us absolutely no context. During the runway portion of the show, one of the guest judges said she thought Carol Hannah’s outfits really fit into the Inc. line, but that’s absolutely no help to us as an audience if we have no idea what that’s supposed to look like.

More proof that this show is more than stale, it’s moldy. As in blue cheese “I’m edible but ugly” mold.

Obviously, this show must be bad if I have to think in “Top Chef” food metaphors just to keep things civil when talking about how “Runway” leaves such a bad taste in my mouth.

OK, off food, back to blue … sigh. So the designers did their blue designs in a day — no twists or turns or kinks of any kind except the usual grumbles about how bad it is working in teams.

The top teams were led by Carol Hannah — the only likable person in the bunch if you ask me — and Irina, the be-yotchy ice queen who has nothing good to say about any of the other women on the show. Can you be a misogynist if you’re a chick? (Apparently, the answer is yes.)

I personally liked Carol Hannah’s clothes the best — they were wearable and the colors where nice. I could have done without the leather belt on one of the dresses, but I didn’t hate it.

Irina made a flowy dress everyone went gaga over, but I really just didn’t get it. It was like a parachute attached to a swimsuit top. You’d have to be about 6-foot-2 and 110 pounds to wear it without looking like a sausage hiding children under your skirt. Just weird. And her other outfit, designed begrudgingly by Gordana, was too low cut to seriously be worn to work as the judges and Irina suggested it could be. Um, sorry, but not where most of America works.

Yet, Irina and her Mother Hubbard beach look won the blue challenge and the ice queen got to design a holiday dress for the Inc. line. Of course, it was meant to be a holiday dress for LAST season and it hasn’t aged well, judging by the picture of it — “You mean I can buy a tight, blue Irina-made dress with a butterfly bull’s-eye over my appendix? Sign me up to wear that one for Christmas!” Uh, no.

On the losing end was ’40s fashionista Louise, whose attempt to wow the judges meant adding ruffles to everything (good idea … for Flamenco dancers). Also in the bottom, wonder boy Christopher, who had previously only been in the winner’s circle during judging. Clearly, he couldn’t handle any sort of constructive criticism, as he started sobbing the second the bad reviews came in. And I mean, sobbing like when I tell my son “No” sobbing. Sniffles and big, fat tears and heaving breaths. Totally embarrassing. I’m sure Michael Kors, seeing him for the first time after being missing in action the whole season, was like, “Oh my God, this fella isn’t going to last two seconds in the real world.”

They ended up sending Louise home because her ruffled dresses were so unwearable, however they did threaten to send Christopher packing, too. I actually wish they had made good on that threat because clearly even if he wins this mediocre season, he’s not going to be able to take it when he pitches an idea and it gets shot down.

Tears + board room = Not pretty.

Some random thoughts:

• Althea looked like she was asking cutie Logan to a Sadie Hawkins dance when she told him she wanted him to be her partner. I’m sure everyone would have audibly gagged if they weren’t so busy shooting daggers with their eyes over losing the chance to work in close proximity to his hotness.

• I think it’s hilarious that Christopher and Epperson thought they had reinvented the shirt dress by using a shiny fabric. Um yeah, and my son reinvented the onesie this morning by staining his with pears.

• Nicolas may hate ruffles, but I hate grown out bowl cuts on guys with bad skin, so there.

• I did really miss Michael Kors and snappy comments. The best this week? Calling Louise’s ruffles “a shower loofah.” Perfectly accurate.

• Can we talk about “Top Chef” now? Did you all hear about Padma’s pregnancy? That is going to be such a beautiful baby! Awesome.

• Also: Voltaggio, Voltaggio, Voltaggio!