Letter to the editor: ‘America only’

To the editor:

In these heady days of a new administration, it is often hard to tell what the important issues are. This is especially true when so many ideas previously dismissed as bizarre, ridiculous or downright kooky are being put forth as the new gospel. As a public service, I would like to explain why one of them — “America First” — is inconsistent with several others involving America’s acquisition of Canada, Greenland and Panama.

“America First” is not a new idea. It was very popular right up to Dec. 6, 1941. For some reason after that, it was shelved until being brought out by the new administration. There is just one problem with it; it allows some other country to be second. Now, I don’t know about you, but there are many times when finishing second, especially in a close race, is almost as good as finishing first. Clearly, in the new world order, that is unacceptable. The answer? “America Only!”

With “America Only,” we won’t have to worry about any more wars after we extinguish all other nations. Canada, Greenland and Panama are just the first step — the low-hanging fruit. Then we can add Central and South America, Australia, etc. Europe, India and China may resist, but after we put 1000% tariffs on them, they’ll submit. Russia, Iran and North Korea? No problem; our fearless leader will talk with their leaders for 15 minutes and they will see the wisdom of joining.

“America Only” — the last word in organizations!!!

Jeff Southard,

Lawrence