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Saturday, Nov. 20, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day

Every day is difficult if you’ve lost a loved one to suicide, but the holiday season, with its emphasis on togetherness and communal good cheer, is well known to radically magnify the sense of loss.

“Man, those dates are hard when this person was so much a part of them and they’re no longer alive to be there,” said Marcia Epstein, a longtime Lawrence resident and specialist in suicide grief support. “Most of us don’t really learn a lot about what healthy grief might look like — as we’re growing up and even into adulthood — and suicide grief has some additional impacts beyond grief from other kinds of causes.”

That’s why Epstein and others around the world participate in International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, which takes place annually the Saturday before Thanksgiving.

Epstein said the day is meant to “encourage people across the world to recognize people who have had people that are important to them die by suicide.”

In Lawrence, this kind of community gathering — along with regular support groups — has been taking place for more than a decade, Epstein said, and this Saturday she, along with area residents Rose Foster and Robin Goff, who are also trained grief specialists, are hosting a get-together to give people affected by suicide the chance to be with others “who understand a lot of what they’re experiencing.”

All three women, in addition to their professional training, have personal experience with someone close to them dying by suicide.

The gathering will be an opportunity to share “in a comfortable environment” anything people might want to share — feelings, photos, mementoes or just the chance to listen to others.

“It can be really hard for people to talk about,” Epstein said, noting that everyone grieves differently. “A lot of people, they’re hesitant to talk about it — they’re hesitant because of statements that might feel judgmental” and because of feelings of guilt or shame.

“There’s nothing shameful about somebody dying by suicide or being in the life of someone who died by suicide,” Epstein said. “We just want people to not be alone with their grief.”

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. In 2019, 47,511 Americans died by suicide, and nearly 1.4 million people attempted suicide.

If you are interested in participating in Saturday’s gathering or finding out more about area support groups, email Epstein at M.Epstein.LMSW@gmail.com for further details.