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Rolling along

Hellfire on wheels

Andrew Hartsock

I ride my bike on the ground, I’ve ridden through more rain than I’d like, and, since this is Kansas, I’m always riding in wind; frequently I’m suckin’ it, too. Thus in terms of the classic elements, I figure I’ve got three of the four whipped (not including aether, whatever ...

Fine Final Four fun on two wheels

Andrew Hartsock

http://www2.ljworld.com/users/ahartsock/photos/2012/apr/9/233030/ A couple of years ago, Kansas University’s men’s basketball team won the national title. I was working that night on the sports desk, as I have for all of the past upteen-or-so-plus KU men’s basketball games over the last couple of decades, and as I hurried back to the ...

Weather permitting

Andrew Hartsock

I’ve never taken so much as one class in meteorology, but thanks to countless hours spent in the Google University classroom and staring at my beloved Weather Channel/weather.com, I consider myself a pretty fair forecaster. Although, it has dawned on me as unusual that the yahoos who give us their ...

Not-so-obscene finger gestures

Andrew Hartsock

I was driving — yes, driving — somewhere the other day, and I crested a hill on a lightly traveled road, with a commercial parking lot to my left and a private drive off another parking lot — I think it belonged to a church — on my right. Just ...

Valentine's Day cad

Andrew Hartsock

Don’t think me a hater, but … I abhor Valentine’s Day. Abohrers gonna abhor. It’s not a reflection on my sweetie, mind you. I so do not abhor her (abher?). In fact, I’m rather fond of her. My loathing is directed instead at the holiday itself, a crass, commercialized money-grab ...

Look out below!

Andrew Hartsock

Back in my younger days, when my legs were bigger and lungs better — or is that, when my legs were better and my lungs bigger? — I used to try to find the biggest hills in town up which to ride my bike. I’d go miles out of my ...

Finder's remorse

Andrew Hartsock

I’m all the time finding cool stuff during my bike rides through the city. I never find anything in my car, or anybody else’s, for that matter. But on a bike, I roll over jewelry, cell phones, tools, pets, money, lost loves … you name it, I find it, and ...

For love of the glove

Andrew Hartsock

My dad has a strange fondness for shoes. I don’t mean that in a bad way. He’s not, to my knowledge, a podophile or foot fetishist. He just likes shoes. A lot. Or, more accurately, he likes buying shoes. As far back as I can remember, the man was dropping ...

Scissors o' death

Andrew Hartsock

I found myself in an unusual predicament the other day. I rolled up behind a car stopped at a light, and, glancing down, I noticed a pair of scissors sitting on the car’s bumper. “Bummer,” I thought. “Dude’s about to lose his scissors.” But then my paranoid-parent brain kicked into ...

Camo ammo

Andrew Hartsock

The darnedest thing happened on the way to work the other day. It was late afternoon. The sky was overcast, the light slowly fading. I approached a T intersection not far from my home and rolled to a stop. I had a stop sign; cross traffic did not, and this ...

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