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OK, this is my first shot at a joint “Project Runway”/”Top Chef” blog. Not sure about the “flavor profile” of this mix but like Tim Gunn says I’m trying to “make it work.”

Why? Well, because after a long hiatus, “Project Runway” has returned to the air feeling a bit … stale. OK, maybe it has mold growing on it at this point. Whatever the food analogy is, the problem is this: The challenges have seemed incredibly safe/boring while nearly no one in the cast seems A. Talented B. Likeable C. Worth rooting for. They’re all cardboard cutouts of designers from much, um, fresher past seasons. Honestly, the only thing I’m pulling for on this show is some romantic sparks between Logan and Carol Hannah because she seems sweet and he’s just plain hot. And that’s about it …

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The challenge this week was to make an outfit befitting a character in a chosen movie genre: Western, film noir, period piece, action/adventure and sci-fi. OK, but not really a challenge that “takes it to the next level” as they say.

On the other hand, “Top Chef” has enough talented likeable folks to fill a good-sized banquet hall, or at least my kitchen. (Hint, hint, people, come over and cook sometime would you?). First there is the fiercest, most talented female chef they’ve ever had: Jennifer, who kicks butt and takes names while producing awesome food. Then there’s Kevin, a baby-faced chef whom looks and acts like a squeezable honey bar while bringing the Southern foodie love. And most notably, the awesome Voltaggio brothers, Michael and Bryan, who are so talented, so confident and so young they’re just dreamy on every level imaginable.

So really, this is a tale of two very similar reality show formats gone in completely opposite directions. And this week they also were 180 degrees from each other as far as challenges go. Wednesday’s “Top Chef” was all about deconstruction of the classics: Contestants were charged with taking an assigned “classic” dish (think meat lasagna and Caesar salad) and deconstructing it to the point that it was only recognizable when all the flavors meshed in the very pretty mouths of the judges.

The aforementioned Voltaggios were hyped up for this one because it’s what they like to do. Not liking it very much were the aforementioned Jennifer and Kevin, for very different reasons. Jennifer was nervous because it definitely isn’t her cup of tea, while Kevin was kind of nervous/ready for redemption because the dish he got — chicken mole negro — was similar to one he didn’t do so well in the previous episode. (As an aside, is chicken mole negro really a classic dish along the lines of fish n’ chips and shepherd’s pie? Kind of feels like a convenient stretch.)

Of course, they all do great because they’re über-talented and left in the bottom are Ash, Laurine and Ron, who either didn’t deconstruct their dishes or didn’t do it properly. Ash made shepherd’s pie without potatoes (big mistake with sharp-tongued Englishman Toby Young on the panel in place of Gail Simmons). Laurine also messed up a classic British dish, fish n’ chips, by ruining her chips and drying out her fish. And Ron, who in my opinion has been out of his league this whole season, made paella without deconstructing it nor making it properly.

OK, I know that “Top Chef” isn’t judged on purely visuals like on “Project Runway” but it was pretty clear by just looking at the plates of food made by the bottom three that they wouldn’t taste as good as the others. Crystal clear, even without taste buds involved.

On “Project Runway” my eyes must not have been working correctly because though I could clearly make out the worst outfit/eventual loser, nearly everyone else to me was just “meh.” The ones the judges loved — Christopher’s bustled dress, Nicolas’s evil space queen and Epperson’s tattered prairie matron — I just thought were really OK. I think nearly any of the other designers on other seasons could have done much better than any of the fashion school projects that ended up on this runway.

Bleh.

Nicolas ended up winning and in a mild surprise Ra’mon-Lawrence went home. The surprise was mild because even though his reptilian space chick outfit was ugly as sin and made in a flash (he scrapped his original idea with 2 hours to go), he had been a judge’s favorite for reasons I can’t describe nor imagine. It was between him and Louise, whose addiction to ’40s era stuff clouded her ’20s flapper piece to create something that didn’t mesh well.

There was a bit more drama in the elimination portion of “Top Chef” where Ash, Laurine and Ron all created pretty sad plates of food and were the butts of several Toby Young zingers. All were bad, all have been in the bottom before, but in my mind Ron, as I said before, has been needing to leave since, oh, Day One. He just hasn’t had what it takes and clearly doesn’t understand the challenges half the time. He’s kind of like the person who wears white to a wedding — he just doesn’t get it.

So, in a not-so-mild surprise, Ron went home. No word on if he got a beer with Ra’mon-Lawrence in the airport to bemoan their short-lived reality TV stardom.

Final thoughts:

• Is it Lifetime or the casting that in your opinion has caused “Project Runway” to be so bad this year?

• Kind of wish no one had told Mike Isabella what the heck was in eggs Florentine, his assigned dish. Would have loved to see him go home, but that’s just me being selfish.

• Can the Voltaggios warp back into time and guest on “Project Runway” to make it a bit more sexy? Mmm, Voltaggios …

• Also, I really enjoyed watching the girls getting ready in the morning on “Project Runway” because it’s clear that Carol Hannah and Althea both actually mean to look that way. I always had assumed that their hair and makeup disintegrated over the day. I was wrong, they start out looking like that.

• Penn and Teller were a treat.

• Do you think Gail Simmons was gone from “Top Chef” this week so she could dig out Michael Kors from wherever the heck he’s been hiding by not attending “Project Runway” tapings?

• That said, apparently not even the judges want to be associated with “Project Runway” this year — no Kors, Nina Garcia has been in and out and the guest judges have been about as exciting as the challenges.

• What do you think of the joint blog? (Be nice!)