http://worldonline.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/blogs/entry_img/2009/Oct/30/Picture_2.png

Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of chefs like two things: Dessert and vegetarians.

Fitting then that this week’s “Top Chef” challenge featured über-vegetarian Natalie Portman asking to be served veggie fare in a world-famous steakhouse.

Cue the scary Halloween music.

“Project Runway” was scary too, but really because it nearly conceded to the fact that it doesn’t have an original thought.

Yes, this week “Top Chef” provided the perfect example of why it continues to work well while “Project Runway” has foundered so horribly. How perfect is it that the chefs were sent to a famous steakhouse only to have the twist of being forced to serve a vegetarian meal? I mean, that’s just outstanding creativity on the part of the producers.

“Project Runway” on the other hand hasn’t had any of that sort of creativity or trickery this season. All the challenges are stale, boring and minus any exciting left turns into something even remotely memorable. If the “Runway” folks had a similar challenge, it would have gone something like this: Make a dress in some famous design house … Go! From that point forward, the only twist would be the producers counting on the designers to be so freaked out about being in some ground zero of fashion that they make mistakes. That’s no way to guarantee a great reality show.

And this week “Project Runway” just ended up underscoring its unoriginality by … drum roll please … having the designers create a companion piece to something they’ve already done. Yep. That’s like saying to a high school senior “Your final is to write the next page in that story you wrote earlier this year.” Hmmm, yes, this challenge was a beacon of creativity.

Sigh.

So, as usual, let’s cover the good stuff first: Spooked-out chefs.

I don’t know why chefs are so scared of vegetarians. I mean is Natalie Portman really that scary? Not on your life. But her way of eating sure is. Though they called this a “vegetarian” challenge, I know that Portman is now a practicing vegan, meaning she doesn’t eat any animals or animal by-products. I’m not sure that she was vegan back when the show was shot, but because the chefs did not use any of the familiar fall backs we see in vegetarian food at restaurants — eggs, dairy (Cheese! Cheese! More Cheese!) or bread — my guess is that the chefs either had very specific guidelines or this was actually a vegan challenge.

So, what’s so hard about cooking vegetables? My guess is that these chefs spend their days working things around perfectly prepared pieces of meat. When that focus is removed, things get spooky, whether the occasion be dessert or a vegetarian dinner.

Well, it seems the vegetarian aspect of tonight’s challenge threw everyone into a tizzy. After spending a whole day dreaming about the high-quality cuts of meat they’d have to work with at CraftSteak — Judge Tom Colicchio’s restaurant — the contestants instead had to think on their feet and create a meatless masterpiece.

Strangely, two of the most confident players in this veggie game — Mike I., whose mom was a vegan, and Robin, who caters to vegetarians often — were the first to fall apart. Maybe it was because they were too confident that they would do fine, or maybe they just wanted to show off, but it didn’t work.

Robin, who has been dogged on since Day One for even being in the competition at all, finally let her personality seep into her cooking skills. Her stream-of-consciousness manner had always been annoying, but it never seemed to affect what she was doing in the kitchen. This time though, it kept her from thinking about the meal as a whole. Instead, she just kept flitting around the produce fridge grabbing anything shiny that caught her eye. It’s was like watching someone suddenly come into money and then head to a high-end department store and go around saying, “I’ll take one of these, and one of these and, oh, yes, one of those too …”

Mike I. has always been cocky and annoying in my book, and he felt that this time he had the experience to really wow the judges. His mother was a vegan and he claimed that a third of the dishes on his regular restaurant menu are vegetarian. Yet, instead of wowing, he seemed more enthralled with the trickery of making a leek seem “meat like.” Now, there are some vegetarians who very much like fake meat or meaty textures. There are also those who are abhorred by the whole idea. So, not only was this leek-to-meat idea a stretch of the imagination, it was also a risky move that could easily upset the night’s special guest.

Now, no one else was too terribly confident with their meals, but of course, the one lacking in confidence the most was our poor Jennifer. Though she had been constantly in the top in the first half of the season, she’s definitely been psyching herself out since her elimination victory in the cook-at-home challenge. Instead of wowing us like we know she can, she put out a tiny dish of food that looked like it was supposed to accompany a larger, meatier portion.

In any case, it was the two with the most confidence and the one with the least confidence in the bottom. Clearly, Mike I. was upset to be there and showed off to the judges exactly why I really don’t care for him: a whole bunch of attitude. Robin also showed off her true demeanor, confusing the panel with some really backward defense of her plating of several ingredients without a cohesive tie. Jennifer, though, looked like she was completely expecting to be in the bottom and didn’t give out much of a defense. I believe she’s the kind of girl who’s not into excuses. And she’s right, how would it have sounded if she said, “Well, Eli stole my eggplant!”??? Childish and Robin-eque, no?

Amazingly, Robin survived yet another cut, and Mike I. was sent back to his vegan mama. I sort of wonder if they did that because he truly had the worst dish or because the producers felt they shouldn’t leave Jennifer to be the only girl. Or maybe because everyone knows Robin is a train wreck causing the only drama behind the scenes this side of the Voltaggios’ brotherly spats.

http://worldonline.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/blogs/entry_img/2009/Oct/30/Picture_3.png

Over on “Project Runway” the drama consisted of a lack of creativity, ironically (or not). After being told they’d be creating companion pieces to their “best” looks — which meant challenge-winning looks for everyone but cute loser Logan — drama ensued when Logan’s companion piece seemed to have a copy-cat collar to something Althea did earlier in the season.

Althea then spent the whole episode complaining about this supposed lack of creativity to everyone except Logan. One whine session included her and Irina sharing french fries and peeking into the work room while Logan talked over his design with mentor Tim Gunn. Wow, high school much? Meow!

The irony of it all was that while Althea was so focused on Logan, she had somewhat copied Irina’s large sweater look. Irina had used the sweater on her winning Aspen look and did an off-shoot of that for her companion look, which made sense. Althea meanwhile had updated the jacket in her winning look to be a big, ol sweater. Hmmm, sound familiar?

The judges thought so and said as much on the runway, where they praised both Irina and Althea, as well as sweet Carol Hannah.

Strangely, the judges rewarded Althea for her look, yet sent Logan packing without even noticing the similarity in his look to the one Althea had zeroed in on.

But it was time for Logan to go — he’d gotten by without so much as being in the top three ever and had seemed to subsist on his cuteness more than his talent. Leaving with him is the only part of the show that kept my interest: the on-going flirt-fest between him and Carol Hannah. “Project Runway” without a side-storyline to keep me interested? Spooky, indeed!

Random thoughts:

• “Mean-a Irina” — quite the fitting nickname, Logan. Snicker.

• Am I crazy to like the Voltaggios so much? For some reason their cockiness actually kind of endears them to me while Mike I.’s attitude repelled me.

• Really, Eli? Vegetarians are lesser people, eh? Well, I know quite a few who might beg to differ.

• What the heck is with Althea’s hair? We saw her in curlers at the beginning of the episode. Does that mean she WANTS her hair to look like that?

• How cute is Natalie Portman?

• I can’t believe any of those designers would get past security in Bryant Park, let alone show collections there!

• Logan, I’ll miss your hotness, but not your complete lack of talent.