So guests to Trish Wellington and Henry Dunn’s wedding can toss their save-the-dates, because Trish’s father, Thomas Wellington, did indeed die in the wedding rehearsal at the end of episode five. Some sharp-edged museum artifact reporting missing awhile back was rigged to the church sanctuary chandelier and came loose after Abby Mills turned on the light, because that’s much better television than having the killer just shoot his victims. The ACME 1000 sinks into Thomas’ upturned face, and it’s a stomach-turning scene. I thought producers would gloss over the aftermath and return to the witnesses (which included Thomas’ stepwife, Katherine, his other daughter, Shea Allen, and young granddaughter Miranda) the next day or so, post-recovery. Instead, you see the shock and grief of everybody in the wedding party right after the killing, including Henry, which went a long way toward reversing my suspicions that he’s our bad guy.

There are two immediate suspects – J.D. Dunn, who had threatened to bring more unpleasant surprises to brother Henry’s wedding festivities, and Richard Allen, as an anguished Trish reveals to Shea and others that he was fooling around with Katherine. Shea? Having a bad day. Abby’s father, Sheriff Mills, arrives in time for this revelation and questions Richard, since that could be a fine motive for killing Thomas. Richard explains that although he has a wonderful wife and daughter, the stress of working for Thomas led him to cheat with Katherine. Somewhere, a crazed killer is happily jotting all this down, since sin makes you ripe for one of ye olde Harper’s Island’s booby traps. The sheriff asks if Richard knows about serial killer John Wakefield, who killed a bunch of people on the island seven years ago, because Thomas’ death had the look of a copycat killing. Not really, Richard lies.

J.D. pleads his case to Abby that he didn’t kill Thomas or anyone else, but he has another unpleasant surprise Abby needs to see. She reluctantly follows him to the woods, where he shows her he’s found poor Uncle Marty, cut in half in episode one. Yes, in half. They find Henry to tell him J.D. is now his last living relative – well, that we know of – and again, Henry’s grieving so realistically that I have some doubts about him as the killer, which is why this is a pretty good show. J.D., Abby and Henry visit Sheriff Mills’ office, filled with newspaper articles about killings around the Northwest Pacific that suggest Wakefield either didn’t die seven years ago or that there’s a copycat. They confront the sheriff, who insists he killed Wakefield himself. J.D. announces he’ll dig up Wakefield’s grave to make sure there’s a body there. The sheriff tells J.D. not to, so he brightly insists again he’ll do it anyway, with the expected results that the sheriff locks him up in a handy storage facility. Abby and Henry decide they will dig up the graves themselves but NOT announce it to the sheriff – clever! — but I’m not sure what this proves – would anyone know if the remains were even Wakefield’s? But their fears are relieved somewhat when they do find a skeleton in Wakefield’s grave (Sheriff Mills surprising them mid-act but allowing them to go through with it). So now they’re thinking copycat killer.

Meanwhile, in a silly subplot with bridesmaid Chloe and boyfriend Cal, the two hit the pub where Cal is told a couple of townies are celebrating their engagement, brought on when the guy found a diamond ring on the beach and decided to pop the question. Oooops. That would be the ring Cal lost in episode one when Chloe threw his pants in the water during a skinny-dipping fiasco. Cal bravely asks the townie for his ring back and gets no response. What would you do in this situation? I think the townie should have returned it, but if he said no, well, we already know Cal is a brilliant and rich medical specialist. If he didn’t put his Cambridge education to use by looking for his ring the next morning, I’d say you’re out of luck, Cal. Instead, he tells Chloe (spoiling the potential surprise proposal factor), and she retrieves the ring by posing as a scorned lover of the townie and making enough accusations that the poor woman wearing the ring throws it off and storms out. That’s an awful thing to do, but the pure glee on Chloe’s face as they rescue the ring is kind of funny. They should end this subplot on that high note, but naturally, they’ll have to have a talk about when Cal will or won’t propose, which is merely a ruse so producers can squeeze in a shot of Chloe vamping about the inn room in new lingerie.

Child Miranda perks up way too quickly after seeing her grandfather filleted and skips along to let fireworks-setting accomplice J.D. out of the storage facility. He overhears the sheriff telling Henry and Abby he’ll have to hold on to J.D. as a suspect, so J.D. hurries off to hide in the Secret Hillbilly’s woods locale. We get our first closeup of the hillbilly – he has a terribly burned face, or that’s Nick Nolte after another DUI arrest. FYI, CBS: We don’t need any new characters. There are way too many to blog about as it is.

Finally, there’s more family drama among Trish, Shea, and cheaters Richard and Katherine. Katherine, trying to be sweet to her stepdaughters to preserve her McValue meal ticket, tells the sheriff Richard wanted Thomas dead and shows him the newspaper articles on Wakefield that Richard had in a suitcase. Handy things, newspapers. (She also explains the suitcase contained their “things” for their sexual shenanigans, and the look Trish gives her is priceless. That would be the “belt” suitcase.)

But Richard’s an innocent man – well, don’t cue up Billy Joel just yet. But he’s eliminated as a suspect right on time at minute 55 of the episode, when you don’t want to be wandering around at night by yourself with a killer on the loose. Another sharp medieval device is rammed through Richard from behind, coming out through his chest with a lot of blood, and he’s reeled in like the cold fish that he is. Maybe somebody should put some new locks on the creepy island museum of torture gadgetry.

So who will die next? I’d guess Expedient Bridesmaid Beth, guilt-ridden groomsman Malcolm and Abby’s doe-eyed townie ex, Jimmy. As for initial show sponsor Kohl’s, well … no commercials this episode. So no matter how many gratuitous Chloe-modeling moments remain, I think Kohl’s might as well join Jimmy on the boat that’s going to go boom.