Harper’s Island home to hillbillies and flashbacks

It’s a very special flashback episode of “Harper’s Island.” So bear with me.

Sheriff Mills and his men walk purposefully through Candlewick Inn in the opening scene, where plans are under way to search the guests’ rooms for clues to Thomas Wellington’s murder. Bridal party members are eager to help with the investigation, except for groomsman Malcolm , who suddenly remembers he has some packing to do. Nothing suspicious about that, of course. Alone in his room, he pulls out the slain Uncle Marty’sbag of cash that he took from groomsman Booth when the latter accidentally shot himself in the woods trying to hide the contraband. Yes, it’s complicated. Malcolm ditches the bag out the window for later retrieval. Expedient Bridesmaid Beth stops by to smile sweetly and thank him for being so kind to her lately, but the desperation in her eyes says, “I’m going die horribly if I don’t get my own subplot soon! Help!” Malcolm misses his cue and brushes her off. He’s later able to retrieve the bag of cash from the bushes and return to his room to reverse the transfer when groomsmen Sully and Danny burst in saying they know he has “it.” The cash? No, Muffin, a bachelorette party accessory of some sort. Malcolm tries to protect his bag, but they take it from him and find the cash instead of Muffin. My guess is Richard or Katherine Allen have taken hold of the latter. Malcolm is forced to explain he left Booth to die alone after the accident and so he took the money from Booth as well. Danny lands him a fine, cinema-worthy punch, and Sully stands around looking like the hot mess that he is. Plans are under way to dig up Booth, but first Malcolm has to get rid of the money.

Heroine Abby Mills and ex-boyfriend/townie Jimmy meet at the inn to kick around old times before she leaves Harper’s Island. She flashes back to seven years ago, the day of the original “Wakefield” murders — Abby’s leaving for college, and she and Jimmy have plans for an illicit camping trip that may or may not involve a rite of passage more commonly associated with prom night. Abby tells her mom she’s camping with a friend, but mom guesses Abby’s plans and warns her to be careful about what she’s doing. They part on friendly terms, but it will be the last time Abby sees her mother alive. Cut to Abby and Jimmy setting off into the woods with camping gear, but they’re distracted by an explosion down by the docks. There Abby and Jimmy find her father, Sheriff Mills, on the scene of a fire where one of his deputies, Cole Harkin, has been horribly burned. That would be the unidentified hillbilly of past episodes.

Still in flashback mode: The sheriff tells Abby to go home. When she arrives, mom is missing, and the sheriff calls and tells her to stay in the house. The door is unlocked, and mom’s coffee cup is broken on the floor. Abby hears screaming. She sets back out to the woods to witness a murder, which the audience hears more than sees. Abby’s fright draws the attention of the murderer, but he’s distracted when Jimmy’s truck goes by, so he heads toward Jimmy instead, who escapes. Abby also escapes, but in cutting back through the woods, she finds several victims hanging from a tree, including her mother. Her father, the sheriff, comes up behind her to make the same gruesome discovery just moments later. How he made it to the scene so fast is a good question.

In the present, groom Henry is helping Sheriff Mills search brother J.D. Dunn’s room at Candlewick in the Thomas Wellington investigation. Their discovery of J.D.’s many medications, as well as Uncle Marty’s cell phone, leads them to start a search party for J.D. In that time Henry relates how J.D.’s mental problems started when their parents died (again, no cause given), and he started rebelling and getting tattoos — you know, like your average college freshman — and the situation escalated when Henry came home from school one day and found J.D. and a classmate with whom he’d made a suicide pact. J.D. was saved and sent to a mental institution; the classmate died. Oooh. I like this. Couldn’t any member of the bridal party be this classmate’s sibling here to exact revenge on Henry? But the good brother/bad brother setup is still too obvious — that maybe it’s Henry who’s crazy and homicidal (and killed their parents?) while J.D. is depressed because he knows the truth. Anyway, the sheriff and Henry catch J.D., and the brothers have this exchange where you know there’s still more to that story.

Bride-to-be Trish Wellington is still a mess after watching her father die and says she can’t marry Henry now, what with his brother being suspected of the murder. Abby spends part of her flashbacking in Trish’s company, relating what it was like to have her mother murdered much like Tom Wellington was. She perks up the bride a bit, but Trish still swears to sister Shea Allen that she won’t marry Henry and packs her dress all carefully folded and covered in plastic. Just don’t save that for your ex, Hunter. He died in episode three. Notice that nobody asked where that guy went? He should be a suspect.

Cole Harkin,the hillbilly, confronts Abby amid trips back in time to warn her his accident was because Sheriff Mills failed to deal with serial killer Wakefield the first time, and all that happened since, including Abby’s mother’s death, was revenge. Abby confronts her father, who admits her mother had dated Wakefield long ago, escaped an abusive relationship, and when he came looking for her, the sheriff figured out how to lock him up a long time. Then he came back and … well, there was the fire and the murders. Abby is horrified her mom dated Wakefield; I am horrified she doesn’t realize that could mean she is Wakefield’s daughter, and not the sheriff’s, and that it could be Wakefield was innocent and the sheriff went in a jealous rage and framed him for a bunch of killings. Wow. Henry or the sheriff? Who do you like better now? But Abby skips over those subtleties to flashback to being sent away to a distant relative after the murders, when she missed Jimmy’s goodbye.

So she returns to the docks to make amends, where Jimmy is chopping fish and looking adorable. She tells him she never thanked him for saving her the day he distracted Wakefield from her hiding location, and Jimmy says he knew he saved her but never mentioned it so she wouldn’t feel beholden to him in any way. Awww. She kisses him, fishiness and all. It’s a tender moment, and if you pause the scene just right, the Grim Reaper is standing behind Jimmy, dabbing its eyes with a handkerchief. Good to see you, Jimmy.

Back to Malcolm, who is dumping Uncle Marty’s cash into an open incinerator. I get a bad feeling about any character alone from minute 47 on, and Malcolm is no different. Fortunately, the killer doesn’t make use of the open flames, but he does strike Malcolm several times from behind so all we see is a bloody hand clutching the incinerator entrance. Exit Malcolm, who failed to note that while the money was for nothing, the chick was free.

Miranda! Episode seven ends with our young mad scientist. She is lured away from her mother, Shea, talking with Aunt Trish, via secret note purportedly from her father, Richard Allen, who we know died at the end of episode six. Miranda tiptoes through the inn, looking for dad, and in the last scene, a door slams behind her. Previews reveal she’ll be held hostage to force the bridal party to stay on the island. A nice ruse, CBS. The island looked too big to blow up every working boat between now and the series finale next month. Don’t worry about Miranda, though. A sunny room, a box of snails, a microscope — she’ll be entertained all the way to July 2.