
Project Runway Season 5, Episode 7 – Car parts
It’s no secret that I never liked Keith. His outfits were always hideous and he had a chip on his shoulder the size of a posh ski resort because he designs out of Utah. I really wanted to walk in the door at Parsons, yank that faux rat-tail thing of his and say, “Grow up and get over it, and for goodness sake, soak up some talent when you’re in New York City, dummy!”Turns out not only did he never soak up any talent while in New York, he sure as heck didn’t learning anything from others’ mistakes. Most specifically, the mistake that kept him in the competition one final week.!Last week, during the fabulous drag queen challenge, Keith’s “sad chicken” outfit wasn’t enough to eliminate him simply because Daniel’s snarky mouth hurt more than a molting bird ever would. Daniel went home for his less-than-inspired Carmen Miranda outfit and his penchant for talking back. Not a pretty way to go. (Note to reality show contestants: It doesn’t matter what really happened, what matters is you said it and the producers can edit you anyway they please).Well, Keith, he of the horrible outfits but amazing luck, didn’t get cut despite being in the bottom two _and_ had the opportunity to learn from Daniel’s big-mouthed mistake. But it looks like the pain from his damaged confidence was causing a loud ringing in his ears. This week he decided to one-up Daniel by accusing the judges of insulting his talent rather than criticizing him.Bad outfit + bad attitude + bad manners = Sad chicken heading back to Utah.OK, so we know the ending, but how did we get there? Well, the designers were sent up to the top of a New York City parking garage and there they found three cars (product placement for sponsor Saturn, of course) filled with car parts. Just like the grocery store challenge in the first episode, the designers were to use non-fabric items to create a dress. And if you remember how the grocery challenge turned out (table cloths galore!), you probably had an idea of where this was going with this crew.Which is, of course, exactly what happened – nearly everyone used the same thing. Instead of table cloths, though, this time the lowly seat belt was the material of choice. And who could really blame them for picking them? They were a lovely champagne color that invoked the beautiful Christian/Chris ruffle dress of last season.But, just because everyone used them doesn’t mean everyone used them well. Korto probably used them best, weaving them into a very luxurious coat and earning runner-up honors for it. Blayne and Keith, however, didn’t quite use them right. Blayne made an ill-fitting evening dress out of them and landed in the bottom three for it, even though I’ll give him points for going in the face of bad luck and breaking a mirror to use in mosaic pieces at the outfit’s neckline. Keith sewed his seat belts into a tight-fitting pencil skirt despite having a hissy fit about how hard they were to sew on the machines.Joining Blayne and Keith in the bottom two was another seat belt user, Stella, who, in an effort to try something different (what, no “letha”?) also made a pencil skirt out of the belts. Though, unlike Keith, hers was much more well-fitted. Her big problem was the racer-type top she created to go with it. The two pieces went together about as well as as “letha” trim on a delicate wedding dress.But, in the end, Stella got lucky. She clearly had the ugliest outfit, but Keith’s mouth was much uglier. First, he blamed the poor construction of his skirt on his model, who had the audacity to sit down despite the fact that he ordered her not to (How else were they going to make her hair runway-ready, Keith?) and then launched into a bitter tirade against the judges – which included former contestant Laura Bennett and celeb stylist Rachel Zoe – for not rewarding his obvious genius. Um, yeah, good job winning them over.Hopefully, Stella has the brains to learn from Keith’s back-talking and avoid that trap in the next episode.A few parting thoughts: – Doesn’t one have to have talent for that talent to be criticized? ! – Korto’s taste just makes me feel all warm and cozy inside, even if I’d look like the kid in “A Christmas Story” all wrapped up too tightly in that coat. – Suede’s dad sounded like a nice guy, even if he couldn’t teach his son to avoid talking in the third person. – Jon Niccum would like to point out that he would never fire a guy like Keith because he’s sure the guy would snap and shoot the place up Rambo-style. – And one more shot at Keith: He actually told his model to “watch the breathing” after he repaired the skirt. She’s not a mannequin, she’s got to breathe, chicken. – Was anyone shocked that Stella’s boyfriend’s name is “Ratbones”? – Leanne’s winning dress was certainly neat, but it’s an outfit only a 6-foot model can pull off without looking like Kim Kardashian’s bionic twin.