To the editor:

Profound thanks for Dolph Simons Jr.’s epistle describing the deplorable conditions of our local team (“What will it take to turn KU football around,” Journal-World, Feb. 27). What a grave tragedy that Kansas University fans remain deprived of fresh victories on the gridiron! Though some learned experts (wimpy charlatans) have pointed out the devastating health impacts of this brutal sport, the university must do all it can to satisfy the blood-lust of fans and potential donors to improve its “front-door” image.

Rather than admitting defeat and canceling the program, we must look for imaginative ways to rebuild. As an ex-gladiator himself, perhaps Simons could fill in as one of the assistant trainers. Most definitely, the university should dip deeply into its endowment to construct a new coliseum. Bread and circuses are no longer a byproduct of academia but its very essence. Simons rhetorically asks “How much worse does it have to get?” Who knows, by constructing a winning football program, our future emperor, Flaccidus Trumpus might grace Lawrence with a visit!