To the editor:

I was recently disappointed to read that the education commissioner for Kansas was leaving to take a job in Abu Dhabi. Unfortunately, with the way things are going now, I expect other departures to soon follow, such as:

l May 1 — every judge on the Kansas Supreme Court and Court of Appeals  announces they are moving to take similar positions in North Korea. Said one judge, “While writing decisions with preordained outcomes won’t  be very challenging, at least we can keep the courts open.”  

l May 31 — at the close of the school year, 50 percent of Kansas teachers in grades K through 12 announce they are retiring. The other 50 percent announce they are leaving to take jobs in Missouri, Nebraska, Colorado and Oklahoma.

l Sometime in the summer — all of the state’s lesser prairie chickens announce they are moving to Mars. Said their spokesbird, “Sure, it’s dry and cold, but in the long run we’ll have a better chance there than in Kansas.”

l The day after the November election (probably) — the entire state will continue going to hell in a hand basket.