To the editor:

I am beginning to feel sorry for the pasty-faced white Republican men who believe they have the right to restrict access to women’s contraceptives. The women are getting angry, thinking 21st century men are laughing, and the polls for these evangelical know-it-all right-wingers are sinking fast. But I think I have a solution. If we want to stop all contraceptives for women and still avoid an avalanche of children, we should provide saltpeter for these primitive, ultra conservative men. For those not old enough to know what saltpeter is, it is a pill that prohibits an erection. No one gets hurt, and the evangelicals save face.

Do you think it’s possible that our Republican candidates and Rush will go along with my solution?