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Archive for Friday, July 20, 2012

Rumsfeld rules

July 20, 2012

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To the editor:

In preparation for the Donald Rumsfeld visit later this month, keep his rules of the game in mind.

First, make friends with the rich and powerful. It helps to attend an elite school where you can better rub shoulders with the movers and shakers of industry and government. To get ahead, you need to skillfully maneuver the halls of business and political influence, biding your time and striking when the opportunity arises. Squeeze every drop out of your subordinates to fatten your resume. When appointed to a top defense position, you have to keep your pen and tongue moving nonstop, always staying a couple steps ahead of the competition.

Remember, political power is everything and never question the president’s strategy. Indeed, as the top defense official, you have to be the primary cheerleader for the boss’ shortsighted policies. When pressed on specifics, either change the subject (i.e. smoking mushroom clouds) or retort that “stuff happens.” Never admit you made a mistake, and always cast blame on others. When your services are no longer needed in government, seek more fame and fortune on the lecture circuit. Finally, write a memoir justifying all your decisions, and then conduct a book tour where you sell autographed copies to the local yokels.

Comments

riverdrifter 1 year, 9 months ago

I'm directly related to the Donald (on my father's side) and wouldn't walk across the street to pee on him if he was on fire. Met him once at a family reunion. Arrogant/supercilious and patronizing d-bag. Yeech.

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blindrabbit 1 year, 9 months ago

Another Secretary of Defense rat; just as arrogant and egotistical as the VietNam flunky Robert (bean counter) McNamara.

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CreatureComforts 1 year, 9 months ago

OMG, this almost makes Rumsfeld sound like...every other politician in America!

The FBI must be warned.

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jaywalker 1 year, 9 months ago

"When pressed on specifics, ....."

Yo, Mr. Finch? Up until the above point, everything you wrote was positive and admirable. I realize you wish to belittle the man but......whoops.

Yes, it's a horrible thing when someone gets an academic scholarship to Princeton. And when you have the opportunity, everyone knows it's in one's best interest to hang w/ the slackers and misanthropes rather than the rich and powerful. Besides, everyone just goes to that ramshackle school for the hob-nobbing. And it would be far more laudable if he ineptly maneuvered the halls of business and politics instead of being successful.
(The "fatten his resume'" line - nothing sarcastic comes to mind. You just gotta do some homework. He's one of the most accomplished men in the nation. He fattened his own resume'.) And lastly, how dare he become the first politician in history to write a book or tour the lecture circuit. He only spent 52 years serving his country and excelling in the private sector; what's he got to share? We need to hear from the Cynthia Mckinney's and Snooki's who gain their wealth of experience and fame from 15 seconds of infamy.

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cato_the_elder 1 year, 9 months ago

"First, make friends with the rich and powerful. It helps to attend an elite school where you can better rub shoulders with the movers and shakers of industry and government. To get ahead, you need to skillfully maneuver the halls of business and political influence, biding your time and striking when the opportunity arises."

That's Barack Obama's history precisely.

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Getaroom 1 year, 9 months ago

And right after you read his "Book of Lies" walk on over to the polls (if you have an ID and aren't a color) and vote for Romney just put the icing on the cake so you can eat it too.

Now, with Bain Capital under your belt, keep buying up America and the rest of the world, so you can Privatize it. Yipe!!! It worked out well for LIBOR didn't it? Free reign, free money!!!

That's what I'm talkin' about, one big well oiled Corporation, just like all The Big Daddy's ordered!

All served up on a super sized platter and brought to you straight from kitchen of The Citizens United Supreme Court of God Bless America.
Lest we forget, Corporations = Government = people. One person, one vote. Now that's how to elect a Corporate Head of Corporate America by golly! That's what I mean by False Hope No Change!

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Corey Williams 1 year, 9 months ago

"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead." "We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."

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