To the editor:
In preparation for the Donald Rumsfeld visit later this month, keep his rules of the game in mind.
First, make friends with the rich and powerful. It helps to attend an elite school where you can better rub shoulders with the movers and shakers of industry and government. To get ahead, you need to skillfully maneuver the halls of business and political influence, biding your time and striking when the opportunity arises. Squeeze every drop out of your subordinates to fatten your resume. When appointed to a top defense position, you have to keep your pen and tongue moving nonstop, always staying a couple steps ahead of the competition.
Remember, political power is everything and never question the president’s strategy. Indeed, as the top defense official, you have to be the primary cheerleader for the boss’ shortsighted policies. When pressed on specifics, either change the subject (i.e. smoking mushroom clouds) or retort that “stuff happens.” Never admit you made a mistake, and always cast blame on others. When your services are no longer needed in government, seek more fame and fortune on the lecture circuit. Finally, write a memoir justifying all your decisions, and then conduct a book tour where you sell autographed copies to the local yokels.