To the editor:

According to the Centers for Disease Control and the National Institute of Health, alcohol kills more people than guns do: 75,000 deaths per year — including 5,000 underage children. Obviously, existing laws don’t stop the carnage or keep alcohol away from children. It’s time to get serious.

We must ban hard liquor and limit beer and wine to packages not exceeding a three-drink total. We need mandatory background checks and 10-day waiting periods for every alcohol purchase. Also, alcohol stored in the home must be kept in locked cabinets to prevent unauthorized access.

Ballistophobic boozers will fuss, with predictable hypocrisy and double-standards: “It’s already illegal for minors to purchase alcohol.” It’s already illegal for minors to purchase firearms. “Drunk driving is already illegal.” Shooting people is already illegal. “Alcohol doesn’t kill people. Alcohol abuse kills people.” Guns don’t kill people, murder kills people. “You don’t need guns.” You don’t need alcohol, I hope. If you do, please seek help.

“Why do you need semi-automatics and large-capacity clips?” Why do you need hard liquor and cases of beer? “Guns are made to kill.” Alcohol is toxic, made to intoxicate. “Most drinkers obey the law and never harm anyone.” Most gun owners obey the law and never harm anyone.

“Tell the parents of 20 murdered children how your constitutional right to bear arms trumps their kids’ lives.” Tell the parents of 5,000 booze-killed kids how your selfish need for convenient drinking trumps their kids’ lives. Then wipe the blood off your bottles and shut up about my guns.