To the editor:
The student loan program has created a new class of people who now find themselves in “economic slavery”: the highly educated unemployed.
Before you find yourself in debt to the government for the rest of your life you might want to consider my method for avoiding membership in this elite class. Here is how it works:
Get married. Take a job on the night shift. Have a child. Enroll in college. After six or seven years, you will have your teaching degree. Give up teaching because it does not pay well. Take an entry level job in a field totally unrelated to your college degree because it pays more. Have two more kids. Work you way into upper management after 18 years. If the company gets sold leaving you without a job, insurance or retirement plan, start your own business.
Since it will probably not generate enough income to support your family for the first two or three years, take a minimum wage weekend job at a lumberyard and a nighttime clerical job. Devote your remaining waking hours to growing your business. After 10 or 15 years, if you work hard enough, it may just be successful.
Congratulations, in the minds of the “forgive my student loans” crowd you are now one of those heartless, evil rich people.
Many in my generation have followed this path. If you choose another way and find yourself unable to repay your student loans, get back with us. We will cry you a river.