To the editor:
Here are a couple of suggestions to help reverse Kansas University’s dropping student enrollment:
• Give students free tickets to all KU sporting events. Grant them priority parking access.
• Terminate all classes on Monday and Friday. Abolish writing requirements. Make textbooks optional.
• Permit underage drinking and transform libraries into party centers.
• Do away with terms: “assignments, professors, exams;” use instead “rewards, personal trainers, self-assessment.”
• Institute a “cash for credit option” where students can purchase a diploma with an official KU logo for only $50,000 (hurry now, supplies limited; this offer will not last!).