Letters to the Editor

Enrollment boosters

October 4, 2011


To the editor:

Here are a couple of suggestions to help reverse Kansas University’s dropping student enrollment:

• Give students free tickets to all KU sporting events. Grant them priority parking access.

• Terminate all classes on Monday and Friday. Abolish writing requirements. Make textbooks optional.

• Permit underage drinking and transform libraries into party centers.

• Do away with terms: “assignments, professors, exams;” use instead “rewards, personal trainers, self-assessment.”

• Institute a “cash for credit option” where students can purchase a diploma with an official KU logo for only $50,000 (hurry now, supplies limited; this offer will not last!).


cato_the_elder 6 years, 6 months ago

While DIST is engaging in wholly appropriate sarcasm, the fact is that he's not far off the mark.

grimpeur 6 years, 6 months ago

Like. Like. Like.

Three people can see.

Paul R Getto 6 years, 6 months ago

"Institute a “cash for credit option” where students can purchase a diploma with an official KU logo " === Our very own James Gunn wrote the book on this: Kampus (1977).

"The college of the future has just one purpose: endless battle. Political organizations urge ruthless combat with an invisible opponent and each student is challenged to be more extreme than the rest. One man finds his fame by kidnapping and killing a professor. Instantly he is immersed into the world of grease-guns and grenades, where the anarchy is suspiciously formulated. The professors have forgotten their pursuit of knowledge, midnight groping at the point has turned into isolated sex with keyboards and the only goal is to completely in deadly political games. By becoming a shining example of academic excellence, Tom Gavin has tapped into the secrets inside the private chambers of the university. He finds it is either play the game or die beneath the latest revolutionary fire." http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/g/james-e-gunn/kampus.htm

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