For many children, reporting sexual abuse is a difficult task. Very often the perpetrator has threatened the victim to not tell, and the child feels ashamed or guilty about the abuse. When the child does report it, the confession could come at an inappropriate time, for instance while riding in a car or taking a bath. And, other children might be too young to know that the act was abusive and could share the information in a nonchalant manner.

Here are some tips on what to do if a child does report sexual abuse:

• Let them know you believe them. Yolanda Jackson, a Kansas University associate professor in the clinical child psychology program, said it’s better to err on the side of believing. Also thank the child for coming forward and let them know you still love them.

• Stay calm. Such news can be devastating, but in the child’s eyes when someone acts hysterical it sends the message that they did something wrong, Jackson said. How the first person reacts to a child’s reporting can influence how willing the child is to tell the story later.

• Resist the urge to ask a lot of questions. Research shows children often disclose the full story just once, said Pam Lawrence, who is with GaDuGi SafeCenter. The hope is for that entire story to be told when the child is interviewed by the Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services and law enforcement, when it can be recorded, Lawrence said.

• Don’t investigate. Phaedra Wade, Douglas County Child and Family Services social work supervisor, said people should avoid trying to figure out what happened and who did it, and focus more on reporting a child’s behavior. “If your house is on fire you would call the fire department, so if you have a concern with a child, call the folks who are trained to deal with that,” Wade said.

• Report the sexual abuse to the SRS’ protection report center at 800-922-5330. To make a report, attempt to have the name and address of the child, the child’s parents or the person responsible for the child’s care. Also, include information on the child’s location, the child’s condition and whether the alleged perpetrator has access to the child.