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Archive for Thursday, December 25, 2008

Mothers of slain service members help relieve grief by doing good

North East Kansas Gold Star Mothers Chapter officers take their oath and receive instruction from Betty Pulliam, right, Vietnam War Gold Star Mother, during the chapter’s chartering ceremony Dec. 14, 2008, at Main Post Chapel at Fort Leavenworth.

North East Kansas Gold Star Mothers Chapter officers take their oath and receive instruction from Betty Pulliam, right, Vietnam War Gold Star Mother, during the chapter’s chartering ceremony Dec. 14, 2008, at Main Post Chapel at Fort Leavenworth.

December 25, 2008

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Gold Star chapter

Anyone interested in joining the North East Kansas Gold Star Mothers chapter can contact Diana Pitts at pitts_diana@yahoo.com or Shirley Hemenway at (913) 706-7755. Fathers and siblings of fallen soldiers are also welcome to join as associates.

— Shirley Hemenway felt isolated.

The Shawnee resident had just lost her son, Ronald Hemenway, to the terrorist attack on the Pentagon on Sept. 11, 2001. Her life was changed forever, and she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with that.

“I felt so detached,” she said. “People start to avoid you. They don’t know what to say, so they avoid you.”

That feeling remained until Hemenway decided she wanted to make a change. She wanted to honor her son’s memory and get through the grieving process by helping soldiers — just like her son — who were in need of assistance.

That’s when she found the American Gold Star Mothers, an organization of mothers whose sons and daughters served and died while in the armed forces. And Hemenway was in luck. A fellow mother of a fallen soldier was about to start a chapter nearby.

The North East Kansas Gold Star Mothers had a chapter chartering and officer induction earlier this month at Fort Leavenworth.

Diana Pitts, whose son David M. Unger died Oct. 17, 2006, was like Hemenway and looking for a way to connect with other mothers in her situation. When doing research, she found that the closest Gold Star Mothers chapter was in Wichita, so Pitts decided to start one.

Right now, the North East Kansas Gold Star Mothers has 11 members. Four more are in the process of joining.

“Our goal is, basically, it helps us honor our children with our support of veterans,” said Pitts, who is the chapter’s president. “We assist veterans and support our country and heal with each other.”

So far, the group has volunteered at the VA Hospital in Leavenworth and helped with the holiday shopping program. The mothers in the organization sorted items and assisted veterans as they shopped for their families. They then mailed the items because many of the veterans weren’t able to do it themselves.

The mothers have also attended a few funerals of fallen soldiers. Hemenway said they dressed in white and were there to let the families know they had support behind them.

“We Gold Star Mothers know that there’s nothing right to say and to just be there and listen,” Hemenway said. “It’s helping just knowing that someone is there, and has been there and maybe not walked the same exact steps as you have but sure have been through close to what you’re going through.”

Pitts said the organization was not meant to be a grieving group. She said the group was meant to turn the mothers’ grief into something positive.

“We try to keep busy, especially this time of year. This is a good, positive way we can do that,” she said.

The more Pitts has become involved with the organization, the more she’s come to a realization about her son’s death. She said that her son was always known as the “Leavenworth, Kansas, version of Jim Carrey.”

“He could always make everyone laugh and make anyone feel at home and loved,” Pitts said. “I realized that I make people laugh and make people feel comfortable. I continually have a heart that wants to give, and that is what helps me to remember David. Where his life stopped being to make people laugh, I’ve now picked it up.”

Comments

Jean1183 6 years, 1 month ago

God Bless You All.........and my gratitude to your children who gave their all for our country.

yankeevet 6 years, 1 month ago

They may be gone; but not forgotton; nor shall they ever be.Vietnam Veteran 69-70

flux 6 years, 1 month ago

Thank you for your sacrafice ladies.

Gina Bailey-Carbaugh 6 years, 1 month ago

I'm a Blue Star mom and hope to never belong to the Gold Star club.BTW, one of the co-founders of the Kansas Patriot Guard passed away. His funeral is Saturday, December 27th. Go to kspatriotguard.org for more information.

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