Boy, am I relieved.
Now that the Kansas Legislature is well on its way to passing a law to ban the hunting of undomesticated pigs, we can all breathe easier because we'll no longer have to worry about porkers poking into our petunias.
Or as Journal-World reporter Mike Belt penned the other day: "The days of hunting feral swine and other wild hogs in Kansas are probably numbered."
With the homeless hams issue settled, we now can count the days until a Wichita legislator plays the provinciality card and pushes for passage of a law to force Wichita State and Kansas University to meet in men's basketball every year.
In fact, if the Wheatshockers should happen to knock off Glen Mason - excuse me, George Mason - in the NCAA Tournament tonight, a House or Senate bill is all but inevitable to go into committee.
Several previous attempts to rematch the Jayhawks and Wheatshockers through legislation have failed, but lawmakers spouting the KU-WSU agenda continue to maintain the faith.
You have to remember there still are some Pollyannas in the state's largest city who think the Shockers should resurrect their football program.
But, unless forced by legislation, Kansas University will rename its historic basketball venue the Allen Slophouse before it agrees to meet the Shockers in a home-and-home, regular-season men's basketball series.
KU officials just might be willing to schedule the Shockers at home every year, but the WSU power structure never would agree to that stipulation.
Play the history music, maestro.
Kansas and Wichita State have battled 14 times in men's basketball, and it has been 13 years since the last meeting - a 103-54 flogging of the Shockers on Jan. 6, 1993, in Allen Fieldhouse.
That stomping was the last of five straight meetings between the two Sunflower State schools. KU won them all by an average score of 89-57.
Three were in Lawrence, two in Wichita.
Wichita State has won two of the 14 meetings - 66-65 at the 1981 NCAA Midwest Regional at the Louisiana Superdome (they billed it as "The Battle of New Orleans") and 54-49 at WSU's Levitt Arena (now refurbished and known as Koch Arena) in 1987.
Oh, and if you're wondering, current KU athletic director Lew Perkins, who incidentally turned 61 today, indeed was the Shockers' AD back in '87.
KU isn't alone among major schools wary of playing in-state members of the Missouri Valley Conference.
Kansas State, for instance, concluded its series with WSU three years ago.
Missouri doesn't play Missouri State, and Illinois doesn't schedule Bradley, Southern Illinois or Illinois State.
On the flip side, however, both Iowa and Iowa State play Drake and Northern Iowa annually in what is billed as a round-robin to determine the state champion.
And Nebraska plays Creighton.
But Kansas and Wichita State? Don't bet the feral piggy bank.