To the editor:

“God Hates You” was the neon-painted sign that stood out to me the most when I went to the Lied Center on Thursday. Sure, “Thank God For Sept. 11” was sufficiently infuriating, but for some reason, this sign made me curious enough to attempt a conversation with one of our beloved local religious radicals.

First of all, when trying to impose ideas on people, it’s not a good tactic to start off by claiming that they are already on the Almighty’s hate list. I decided to inquire of the nearest fanatic as to why they knew that I was condemned to the kingdom of Satan. Very impatient about my “obvious ignorance of the Bible,” she explained that simply by cutting my hair, I had secured my fate to burn in Hell. No, God apparently doesn’t care about my depth of character or my actions; it is rather the length of the dead cells that hang from my scalp that determines my fate.

I was forced to walk away at that point, and like many before me, I threw up my hands, dumbfounded by the sheer arrogance of her statement. If all it takes is a haircut to sentence someone to Hell, then it’s sure going to be packed down there. I also decided that if heaven would be full of people like this woman, then by God, give me eternal damnation. And because my fate has long since been secured, I have a haircut appointment next Tuesday.

Lindsey Kennedy,

Lawrence