Killeen, Texas ? Although surviving the chaos of Iraq, thousands of soldiers have become casualties of a fight they were poorly trained for: keeping control of their family lives during the separation of war. Men and women who feel lucky that their units suffered few fatalities say they can name dozens who returned home to empty houses, squandered bank accounts, divorce papers and restraining orders.

The Army divorce rate has jumped more than 80 percent since the fighting began overseas in response to 9-11. The courts around Fort Hood, the Army’s largest post, may have to add another judge just to handle the caseload. Divorce lawyers hire extra staff whenever a division prepares to come home.

To a soldier in battle, the threat of a family falling apart can be a dangerous distraction. “That’s probably the worst part about being over there,” said Pvt. Ray Hall, 21, who was married to his high school sweetheart, an airman first class stationed in San Antonio. “Your wife’s cheating on you, you know she’s been spending all your money the entire time, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You think about that more than you do a bomb on the side of the road.”

Whether by accident or design, the Army encourages its soldiers to marry. The best housing goes to families, leaving single soldiers to share the barracks. Wages are higher for active-duty soldiers with dependents, and higher still for those sent overseas, when the pay is tax-free. Hazardous duty and family separation supplements can amount to several hundred dollars a month.

Soldiers tend to enlist young and marry young: Just 1 percent of the civilian population under 20 is married, compared with nearly 14 percent of military members in the same age group, said Shelley M. MacDermid, co-director of the Military Family Research Institute at Purdue University.

“These early young marriages are not a great recipe for marital longevity,” MacDermid said. “Research on divorce shows that. Add to that the anxiety associated with a dangerous job, and it doesn’t bode well.”

The deadline for going to war is among the most powerful incentives to rush a wedding. This time around, those unions are being tested by the longest and most recurrent deployments in the history of the volunteer military.

Deployment strengthens the strong marriages and breaks the weak, Army brass often say. But 4th Squad member Lance Fernandez and his wife, Emily, say it damages the strong ones too.

Watching his daughter grow up via Web cam, he bounced between doubt and faith in Iraq, listening to his friends’ despair and his wife’s reassurances.

She sent him boxes of Fruity Pebbles and, once, a 12-pack of his favorite root beer that cost $30 to ship. The Army’s separation and hazard pay barely covered the extra expenses of being apart. The root beer was shipped only because a stranger in line at the post office learned it was for a soldier and offered to pay the tab.

“This whole deployment really messed up a whole lot of marriages,” Spc. Fernandez said. “I can see six or eight months – it has to be done. But anything longer than that takes too much out of the marriage. My little girl is still getting to know me.”