To the editor:

Melanie Schnebelen (Public Forum, Feb. 21) makes a good point when she says, “and leave the government out of it.” I think the real issue underlying same-sex marriage is indeed “separation of church and state.” Maybe if we got clear about the words we’re using and what they mean, everyone could stop arguing about this.

“Marriage” is the word used by churches to define a holy union. If a particular church has a problem with same-sex marriage, then a gay couple can choose to go to another church that will accept their union or they can take this issue up with their church, “not the state.”

“Civil union” should be the legal term used by the state to define a living commitment between two people. Marriage is a “type” or “subset” of civil union. The government should not use the word marriage. Marriage is the business of “religion.”

It’s plain the idea of separation of church and state is muddled in many Americans’ minds what with all the hoopla about people trying to have the Ten Commandments in state buildings and still praying in public schools. The word “marriage” on, for instance, tax forms is just one more example.

Darci Kampschroeder,

Lawrence