To the editor:

Poor Cal Thomas just can’t seem to wrap his mind around one fundamental piece of the debate over same-sex marriage: Gay men and lesbians have long-term, committed relationships wherein they co-habitate, share finances and possessions and raise children, among other things. Many of these loving couples have weddings and live the married life, regardless of official recognition or social approbation. It happens all the time, every day — even in Kansas. This isn’t a dream I had, it is a fact of our culture, and it always has been.

Should gay people be allowed to marry? That question is moot. They do marry.

Why do they marry? Because, like Mr. Thomas, gay men and lesbians recognize “marriage as a core value of our society.” It seems silly to me that anyone would point at a loving married couple and say “there is the degradation of our society.”

Furthermore, marriage as a sacred institution has little to do with marriage as a civil institution. If you are comfortable with a faith that teaches you not to recognize same-sex unions, then don’t do it. That is your right. This is, after all, “the land of the free.”

Equal protection under the law is one of the fundamental guarantors of that freedom. If the people, in the form of our state and federal governments, insist on recognizing marriages officially, then we must protect all such unions equally.

Melanie R. Schnebelen,

Lawrence