Fatherhood has never been easy. But with all the societal pressures of today, is it more difficult now than it’s ever been?

Carrie Wendel-Hummell, a doctoral candidate at Kansas University, sheds some light on this question with her recent research study into the effects cultural stressors have on new parents’ mental health.

Contrary to popular belief, fathers are not immune to postpartum depression. While their mood disorders may not be caused by hormonal changes, like in some mothers, men can still be impacted by the pressures of modern parenting. That’s particularly true if they have a previous history of mental illness, inadequate social support, marital distress or low socioeconomic status. About 10 percent of new fathers are at risk of developing depression after the birth of a child, about three times the risk for men in general.

One risk factor that separates men from women is employment status, Wendel-Hummell says, as fathers often feel more pressure to be breadwinners. Throw in the fact that men in 2014 are less likely to be able to be the sole earner and expected to play more of a parenting role at home, and you have a recipe for stress.

In her study, Wendel-Hummell interviewed 17 new fathers with signs of mood disorders, and compared their stories to a sample of new mothers. The dads tried to work hard to further their careers while, at the same time, building a relationship with their children at the end of the day, even though they were exhausted from their jobs. They rarely took more than a week or two of paternity leave, while some got mixed messages from their employers about whether they were allowed any time off at all (many employers are required to give new mothers — and fathers — up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave).

Wendel-Hummell’s research didn’t surprise me. After Lily’s birth in October, I took three days off of work, mostly because I couldn’t afford to do otherwise. Those first few weeks back on the job were tough, because I wanted to be at home bonding with my new baby and helping my fiancee. We also lived 500 miles from our families in the Chicago area, so social isolation was another stressor. I, at least, got to return to work and interact with other adults.

Wendel-Hummell also found that fathers can suffer from the relationship changes that parenthood often brings. Both parents are generally overwhelmed after the birth of a child, though men’s natural inclination to stoicism can cause them added problems.

“Often their spouse is the No. 1 person to rely on for emotional support,” the researcher said. “When the relationship becomes strained, that may mean there’s no one left for the husband to talk to about his stressors.” One father told her: “Mom takes care of the bay, I take care of mom, and who’s taking care of me? No one.”

Dads in the study also largely felt a need to be more involved parents than, say, their fathers were, but said the societal supports just weren’t there. They would talk of going to appointments at the pediatrician and feeling ignored; of reading parenting books that only had one chapter dedicated to fathers; of not feeling like their employers empathized with their wanting to have a good work-life balance.

While all this might seem a little depressing, there are reasons people keep having babies (other than to repopulate the planet, of course).

As I can attest from being the proud father of a nearly 1-year-old daughter, I never before realized how deep my love for another person could go. Like when I walk into a room full of strangers and Lily shyly puts her head on my shoulder. Or when I come home from work and she greets me with the biggest, most authentic smile imaginable. Or when she doesn’t want to go to bed but instantly falls asleep after I snuggle up next to her.

“Parents say, ‘I knew it was going to be a lot of work, but I didn’t know how much work.’ They also said, ‘I knew I would love my child, but I had no idea how much I would love them,'” Wendel-Hummel said. “They had no idea how much capacity for love they had and their children would give them.”

She says parenting nowadays can be summed up in the title of a new book by author Jennifer Senior: “All Joy and No Fun.” Perfect.

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