photo by: Michael O. Taylor

Matt Enyart, of Lawrence, was a founder of Rainbow Kids and Families.

One of the most painful experiences a parent can endure is seeing their child struggle in a world where they don’t fit in, where they’re made to feel that they are not “normal,” that they are less valuable than other children.

It was not an experience that Matt Enyart was willing to endure, certainly not in silence. His baby deserved better, and he spent the last decade of his life demanding better. Not just for his transgender son, but for all kids and families facing social hostility and marginalization.

Enyart, who died of ALS on July 13 at age 49, was the force behind Rainbow Kids and Families, an organization that he founded in 2019 to help area families navigate LGBTQ issues, support one another and, most importantly, to create a space “where kids can be themselves,” as Enyart told the Journal-World.

“Matt left a big void that we’re all going to have to step up and fill,” said Joanna Herrmann, who, along with community educators Julie Heatwole and Amanda Atkins, helped the organization get off the ground.

Filling that void is especially crucial right now, Herrmann says, as anti-LGBTQ sentiment has hardened into law with the passage of legislation restricting the use of bathrooms and other facilities, limiting participation in sports and prohibiting gender-marker changes on state documents. In some states, even gender-affirming health care has been outlawed.

Herrmann says a group like Rainbow Kids, which Enyart did “all the hard work” to develop into a full-fledged nonprofit, was desperately needed because it sought to reach kids and families in the elementary years, when support is crucial and where resources are scarce.

Even though elementary school is when most people start to figure out their gender identity, it’s a subject that many people consider off limits, Herrmann says, mainly because of unwarranted fear.

“While there isn’t exactly great support for middle school or high school, there are some things available there,” she says, whereas people don’t want to talk about gender issues in elementary schools “because they think it has to do with sex, but it has nothing to do with sex or who you love. … It has to do with yourself and how you view yourself and how you see yourself in the world.”

When Enyart saw his young child expressing his gender, he knew he had to be proactive and reached out to school counselors like Heatwole and Atkins to help develop a gender plan and to ease his son’s journey through school experiences — to foster the understanding and acceptance that he knew would be fundamental to his child’s mental health and happiness.

And after he accomplished what he could on that front, he saw that he needed to do it for other families as well. Thus was born Rainbow Kids and Families, an organization that continues to grow thanks to Enyart’s perseverance.

photo by: Courtesy of Rainbow Kids and Families

Members of the Rainbow Kids and Families organization are pictured at a Pride event.

“It would not have started without Matt and his love for his kid,” Heatwole says. “It started with one kid’s needs” and blossomed into a wide, warm network.

That was Enyart’s “rare gift,” says Beth Roselyn, the board chair of Rainbow Kids.

“He was one of those people who could take the things he cared about and was passionate about and turn them into action,” Roselyn says. “He could pull people together.”

Enyart, originally from North Dakota, wound up in Lawrence and founded the Kansas Institute for Positive, Healthy, and Inclusive Communities, where he led research and training aimed at building positive, healthy and inclusive communities in Kansas, according to his obituary, which also notes that he leaves behind “a legacy of love through his children and step-children, along with an endless supply of dad jokes.”

Enyart was diagnosed with ALS about three years ago, Herrmann says.

Commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, ALS is a neurological disease that rapidly destroys a person’s muscle control, including the ability to walk, talk, eat and, finally, to breathe. There is no known cure.

“It’s a big hit to lose him,” Herrmann says. “He was a visionary who saw the long haul.”

But the group plans to honor Enyart by taking his baton and running it to the finish line, no matter the distance.

“It’s been an uphill battle,” Heatwole says, but the group is determined, especially in the face of Senate Bill 180, an anti-transgender law that went into effect just two weeks before Enyart died.

SB 180, which, among other things, defines “male” and “female” only by biological sex at birth, is everything Enyart fought against. More than two years before the measure became law, Enyart spoke to the Journal-World about the increasing attacks on trans people’s rights and lives. He mentioned the daily talks with his child that had become necessary in the face of trans kids being “bombarded every day” by messages of “No one likes you, no one wants you.”

In a climate of fear and hate, he would surely have been heartened by the City of Lawrence’s reaction to SB 180 — passage of a municipal ordinance just five days after his death that made Lawrence a “safe haven” for transgender people.

It was a step toward what Enyart said was the ultimate need: “universal, inclusive safe spaces for everyone.”

A celebration of life service for Enyart is scheduled from 2 to 6 p.m. Saturday at the White Schoolhouse in North Lawrence, 1510 N. Third St. People who would like to share personal tributes are invited to do so between 3 and 4 p.m.

There is also a GoFundMe page for people who would like to make a contribution.

More information about Rainbow Kids and families can be found on the organization’s website, rainbowkidsandfamilies.org.

photo by: Courtesy of Rainbow Kids and Families

Matt Enyart