My wife seemed upset as we waited for our chicken strips. “I killed my shredder,” she finally said. You have to understand something — she loved that shredder. She told me that all the time.

For years, I had watched her use scissors or rip up old financial documents or just about any piece of junk mail that might have private financial information on it. She’s very security conscious.

So last Christmas, I got her a personal shredder — just a small one I picked up at SuperTarget that made confetti out of small documents.

It was a little Memorex cream-colored model that she would sit at the table next to her as she went through her daily chore of keeping up the family finances.

Earlier in the day, she was feeding it with too many documents at a time. It locked up and overheated.

“You’re supposed to use it for two minutes on and four minutes off,” she confessed.

“No problem. We’ll just get you a bigger, more powerful shredder,” I said.

I had a vision of what would be cool: a shredder with some real power — one that might require goggles and ear protection.

Table top models

Seriously, we didn’t really need an Enron-style shredder that might be able to chow down on a sheaf of documents as thick as a phone book in a few seconds.

But we were hoping to find something with a little more teeth to protect us from identity theft.

I was interested in finding one that had a throat that could easily take in a few 8.5- by 11-inch pages at a time.

Any smaller than that, you have to fold up the pages or pre-tear them.

I also was interested in finding a shredder that would provide the most security — the smaller the pieces, the better.

A few models

¢Kansas Attorney General – Identity theft tips¢Tips from Frank Abagnale (“Catch Me if You Can”)¢Privacy Rights Clearinghouse¢Shredder Buying Tips

I looked at some cross-cut shredders, rather than the strip-cut shredders:

• Destroyit 2250CC Cross-Cut Shredder (about $270). It accepts staples and three to five sheets at once with a speed of 12 feet per minute. It shreds into pieces that are 0.12 of an inch by 1-inch in size. It has an automatic start/stop using a photo cell. And it has an automatic shut-off in case of a paper jam. And you gotta love the name — Destroyit.
• Quartet gbc 55X Cross-Cut Shredder ($73). It could handle up to four sheets, cutting them into pieces 0.16 by 1.5 inches long, with a throat size of 8.75 inches and a speed of 10 feet per minute. It got four out of five stars from the four people who reviewed it on Epinions.com. One reviewer complained that it didn’t come in black. And another said it was underpowered and noisy, but it was cheaper than most shredders.
• Fellowes P400C-2 Confetti-Cut Shredder (about $49). It cuts pieces into 0.15 of an inch by 2-inch pieces and can handle up to five full-sized sheets. It has a throat size of 9.5 inches, with a speed of 12 feet per minute. It received mixed reviews on Epinions.com, getting three out of five stars. One of the cons was that you couldn’t see when the basket of shreddings was full.

Cheap, but effective

The only problem I had with all of those shredders was the cost.

That’s why I settled on a much cheaper one, a Memorex 5-sheet Cross-Cut Paper Shredder, the MPS-2800, which cost about $29.

Its throat was twice the size of our old shredder — nine inches.

Also, it has a clear plastic window in its waste basket, allowing you to see how full the basket is getting. It also has a “bin full” red light and allows you to turn it on automatic feed and reverse.

Also, it produced smaller confetti pieces — 0.16 inches by 0.9 inches.

Although it didn’t have a catchy name like Destroyit, the Memorex model was dark gray, giving it more of a menacing appearance as it growled and chomped.

Security and protection

As Diane began using the new one, I looked over her broken shredder.

I opened it up turned it upside down and started pulling wads of confetti out of its teeth.

It took me about 15 minutes, but I unclogged the old one. Then I plugged it in and hit the reverse button. It purred back to life.

“It … is … ALIVE!!!” I said.

I felt like gloating. “You know, some of us were brought into this world to create …” I told my surprised wife.

“… while others of us were brought into this world to destr—“

She cut me off as she put another document into her new shredder.

“– To protect and provide security,” she said.