You’ve spent months planning, dreaming, arguing and waiting. So why would you waste this enormous opportunity to address those guests who have gathered to celebrate the two of you?

It’s time for both grooms and brides to speak up, to raise a glass to their guests and new spouses, and to share a few words from the heart on this singular day. Take the stage for a moment or two, and your celebration will be warmer and more festive for the effort.

Why should I make a toast, you might ask. Well, why not? You are, after all, the entire reason all these people have come to this celebration.

To toast or not

JoAnn Gregoli, a New York- and New Jersey-based wedding consultant, routinely encourages couples to toast. “The couple making a toast give the guests a sense of appreciation,” she says.

Besides, a wasted opportunity can leave a tinge of regret. Chances are this particular collection of old college buddies, distant grandaunts and in-law’s cousins is not likely to ever be together again.

Seize the moment. You are more likely to feel sorry for not speaking than for saying a few simple words of welcome and gratitude.

Best man’s role

Of course, no bride or groom with severe social anxiety should force herself or himself to make a toast. If the very thought of raising your glass and saying a few words makes you feel ill, by all means skip it. No one likes to see the guest of honor squirm.

The only person who is really expected to make a speech is the best man, and even he can be replaced by, say, the maid of honor if he is truly uncomfortable.

Just breathe

Understand, however, that everyone is at least a little nervous before he or she speaks to a group, and this can actually be a good thing if you use that energy to create some momentum and excitement for yourself.

It sounds silly, but breathing deeply is very calming. So is remembering this: You are preaching to the converted. These people love you; after all, they’re your wedding guests, silly, and not some howling mob. Basically, they are going to adore anything you say to them. Which brings us to the next point:

How do I break the ice?

You will probably want to start by making your guests chuckle to get them engaged. You don’t need to tell a knee-slapper, but do start with something light and amusing.

Some people are not great joke-tellers, but you don’t need to be David Letterman to be funny. Tell a story about your spouse that always makes you grin (but nothing embarrassing!). Or describe the first time your parents met your intended, if it was offbeat. The things that will make people smile are those that are personal, but never mean-spirited.

Whatever you say, say it simply and say it quickly. Two or three minutes are sufficient for this toast, especially if both the bride and groom are planning to speak. Be sure to thank your parents and your in-laws. Next, thank all your guests for coming. Finally, toast your new wife or husband.

No long stories

Don’t tell long stories about your childhood or growing up or whatever. Don’t thank a long list of people; you have not won an Academy Award here.

Don’t say a single thing that you would not repeat to your mother-in-law or your grandmother if she were the only one in the room. This is not the time for anything even slightly raunchy.

And don’t tell inside jokes in order to make your old college roommates guffaw. It’s rude to not be inclusive of the entire group.

No martini talk

Yes, several of those chocolate martinis may make it easier for you to gather the courage to get up there and do your part. But keep in mind that it also may make you difficult to understand, boring or worst of all inappropriate.