Finally, I’ve found the perfect meatloaf

Friday night, we went to Mr. Meat and Potatoes’ dad’s house for dinner. His dad is married to a Woman Who Can Cook. We always get wound up about going to dinner there. “Wonder what Patsy will have for us?” “Wonder if it will be crab legs again? Remember when she had crab legs?”

Once, I gave her a cookbook for Christmas. Because she likes to cook. Later, I thought, “STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. Patsy don’t need no stinking cookbook!” She’s a cook, much like myself, who likes to throw “a little of this, a little of that” into the pot and taste it until she’s got it right. And she’s really good at it.

That night, we had meatloaf. Not just any meatloaf, though. REALLY, REALLY GOOD meatloaf. I admitted that I have made about a gazillion different meatloaves in my life, with varying “secret ingredients, like beer, or panko, or applesauce. Seriously, I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried it with oatmeal, breadcrumbs and rice. I cannot say I’ve loved any of it. I was never sure exactly what I was doing wrong.

So I e-mailed her and begged her to tell me how she made that flavorful, perfectly textured meatloaf that was not sitting in a pool of its own grease. She kindly told me that she can’t say, exactly, because she just “opened the cabinet and threw it in.” Sheesh. I mean, I have tried EVERYTHING, and she “just threw it together.” Inadequate much, Megan?

Oh well. Not to worry. She told me, as best she could, what she remembered doing. And now, I am going to tell you. So you don’t have to suffer the way I have. So you don’t have to waste pound after pound of ground beef on mushy, flavorless meatloaf.

Patsy’s Perfect Meatloaf

2 lbs. ground round
1/2 green pepper
1/2 onion
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup Italian seasoned bread crumbs
1 glove garlic minced
1/2 cup oatmeal
pinch of rosemary, thyme, oregano, basil
top w/ 6 ounces of tomato sauce
sea salt
pepper

Directions, in her own words:
Mix all in large bowl with hands (I love this part!) then pat into greased loaf pan.
Bake 350 for 1 hour.

Do you see that? BOTH! She used BOTH bread crumbs AND oatmeal! Revolutionary. Sea salt. MILK.

I’m telling you – it’s perfect. Simple, delicious, so flavorful. You will never look back. Paula Deen, eat your heart out. I’d like to attend a Patsy v. Paula cookoff. I can tell you without reservation that Patsy’s meatloaf is where it’s at. I’ve tried Paula’s. Meh.

There is still a chill in the air. Before you break out your grill and abandon your oven for the next five months, make yourself a batch of meatloaf. You won’t regret it. Plus, it’s a really good excuse to have some fried potatoes, which is what Patsy serves us alongside ours. I ate it with gusto, right before I laid down on her kitchen floor and took a nap.