It seemed as if Mr. Meat and Potatoes and I had waited for the new season of Lost FOREVER. Lost is one of our “things”. I worry about our marriage, after Lost is over. We’ll probably just have to start it over again, and again. BECAUSE WITHOUT LOST, WHO ARE WE AS A COUPLE? We’ll be shapeless, identity-less. WE WILL BE LOST. (Oh, shut up. I couldn’t help it.)

I plan our Lost-viewing meals carefully and in advance. I want a meal that is quick to make, delicious enough to be worthy of our show, and, because I am a dork, on theme. I don’t want to have to waste precious pre-Lost minutes standing in the kitchen, missing out on the few moments of baby time I get in the evenings. And after the baby goes to bed, I want to be able to promptly sit down with a cocktail and START WATCHING TV. Priorities, people.

For the season opener, I created just such a meal. In the morning, before I went to work, I put a pork roast in the crock pot. This allowed me to come home, love all over the baby, feed him, and put him to bed, without being distracted by cooking duties or prep work.

My plan worked perfectly, and Mr. Meat and Potatoes and I were sitting in front of the TV, eating and happy as little clams, by 6:45.

Mr. Meat and Potoates helped, by cooking up some saffron rice while I force-fed sweet potatoes to the baby. I had him thaw a few Rhodes rolls during the day, so I popped a few of those buttery suckers in the oven for 13 minutes, dumped some salad out of a bag into a bowl, and voila – a beautiful meal was born.

EASY LOST DINNER: Island-Themed Pork

1 pork roast
2 cans (those tiny ones) of pineapple juice
3 T soy sauce
1 T teriyaki
1/2 C brown sugar
1 C water
2 T kosher salt
1 T pepper
1/2 onion
3 stalks celery
1 green pepper

Put the roast in the slow cooker and pour all the liquid around it. Chop your celery, onions, and pepper into hearty hunks and plop them in the liquid around the roast. You don’t want your meat completely submerged, but you do want the liquid to come almost to the top of the roast, so adjust accordingly, depending on the size of the meat.

Then coat the top of your roast with salt, pepper, and brown sugar, sprinkling any excess into the liquid.

I cooked mine on HI but Mr. Meat and Potatoes said that during the day it was looking pretty done so he turned it down to LOW. I bet you could cook it for 8 or 9 hours on LOW and get the job done.

If you are a LOST fan, you understand how important it is to go into this show with a full belly and and all of your synapses firing. It’s like taking an exam: you need a good meal first.

This way, at the end of the show, when you’re confused and unsatisfied by the show (but still hungry for more), you will at least be satisfied in some other, more basic way. It’s little consolation to the avid LOST watcher, but at least it’s something.