Two of my bestest friends have a pool in their back yard. No, that is not why they are among my bestest friends. But it doesn’t hurt.

Many of my compatriots and I routinely spend our summer Sunday afternoons draped over chairs in their impeccably kept back yard. And I do mean impeccable. I am SO GLAD I am not their neighbor. I would not want to keep up with their weed-free, lusciously thick grass, their immaculately kept flower beds and boxes, their bird poop free patio and pool. They are so generous to let kids, the aged, and everyone in between, in various stages of sobriety, traipse in and out of their summer haven on Sunday afternoons. We like to keep them happy, because even though they are very, very (hi guys!) young, they like to pretend to be curmudgeonly and crochety, and shout out phrases like “Damn kids!” in that 90-year-old-neighbor kind of way.

In return for their gracious hospitality, we try not to mess things up too badly. We have learned that greasy chips and kids’ mouths are not a good combination when you’re trying to keep the furniture and patio from looking like the back seat of my car, which is to say, FOUL. We don’t want to leave remnants of our visits behind. Still, you can’t go to a pool without a snack. Swimming, like no other activity, induces the most vicious, “I’m surely going to expire if I don’t eat something NOW” kind of hunger. So we bring snacks to the pool sometimes, but we try to make them less crumbly, greasy, and generally undesirable than the usual mashed up big grab of off-brand potato chips.

Lately, I’ve been into trail mix. Trail mix, it turns out, is like nature’s perfect food, since it is usually both sweet and salty, and therefore highly desirable if you are pregnant and need one followed by the other followed by the other at regular intervals.

Trail mix, of course, can be anything you want it to be, but I have a couple of suggestions. First, avoid chocolate chips, esp. if you are sitting at the pool. Chocolate chips melt in the sun, and they ruin the trail mix, and worse, the kids will leave chocolate thumbprints on the glass table top.

Also, I suggest a departure from the peanuts/raisins/M&M’s version of trail mix. Because, well, yuck. We can do better than that.

Here’s my favorite combination, sure to not leave a mess, very portable, and, (wonders never cease) HEALTHY.

Curry Trail Mix

1 C curried cashews
1 C salted, roasted peanuts
1 C shelled sunflower seeds
1 C yogurt-covered dried cranberries
1 C dried pineapple chunks
1/3 C crystallized ginger
1/4 C coconut

Mix it all up, add or subtract ingredients, do whatever sears your pork chop.

Another of my favorite pack-and-go snacks is the granola bar. Forget the granola bars of your childhood. Forget granola bars in the grocery store. You will never eat them again after you start making these babies for yourself.

Gypsy’s Granola Bars

2 cups rolled oats

1/2 C wheat germ (sort of optional)
1/2 C raw sunflower seeds (also optional, I have also used slivered almonds)
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 C packed brown sugar

1 C whole wheat flour

3/4 C dried cranberries (or any dried fruit, really)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 C honey
1/2 C coconut oil (or peanut oil, or, if you’re like me, BUTTER)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 tsp kosher salt

Step 1) Pre heat your oven to 350 degrees, and butter a 9 x 9 glass baking dish.

Step 2) Combine the first three ingredients, and spread them out on a cookie sheet. Cook them, stirring once in awhile, for about 12 to 15 minutes, until it all looks good and toasted.

Step 3) Meanwhile, back at the ranch, you should be combining everything else except the dried fruit in a saucepan and cooking over medium heat until the sugar has dissolved.

Step 4) When the granola mix is finished toasting, reduce the oven heat to 275. Add the dry ingredients to the liquid, and add in the fruit. Immediately pour it all into the baking dish and smooth flat with the back of a wooden spoon or spatula.

Step 5) Cook it for 25 to 30 minutes. Allow it to cool, and then cut it into bars. I like to individually wrap them in plastic wrap so they don’t stick together, and store in zip lock bags. They’ll keep for up to a week.

Even if you hate the way you look in a swimsuit, remember this: I am pregnant, and therefore am twice the monstrosity, pool-side, that you are. And, if you bring my granola goodness, no one will look at your thighs. I promise.