I promised potato salad two ways, and potato salad two ways you shall have.

Because I am a youngest child and everything is about me, I’ve chosen to tell you “my way” first, because, in my never to be humble opinion, it is far superior.

This is what I make when I go to other peoples’ barbeques, usually. It is something that is quick to put together and is a little more special than your standard pasta and italian dressing with cucumbers sort of salad.

Get your ingredients together first, and if you’re really organized and you don’t have ADD like me, you’ll prepare with mise en place (pronounced MEEZ EHN PLAHHS)- it really will make your life easier. Mise en place literally translates from the French to “put in place”, which in the culinary world means that you do all your measuring out and chopping and dicing before you begin assembling or cooking anything. I learned that at a cooking class at The Bayleaf – an activity I highly recommend.

I am generally poor at mise en place, and usually need my husband in the kitchen with me so I can scream over my boiling-over water to GO TO THE PANTRY AND GET ME SOME FLOUR. PLEASE. FASTER!

But, this dish takes quite a few ingredients, and if you don’t like to cook amidst fifteen or so bottles of whatnot and a chopping board full of onions in your way, you’ll mise en place your little heart out before you start.

Here’s your loose list:

1 5 lb bag of red potatoes

1/3 cup mayo

1/3 cup mustard

1/2 cup vinegar, whatever kind curls your lashes – I use a mix usually

3 T sugar

1 tub of feta cheese

1 cup of pre-cooked bacon-in-a-bag

1 or 2 T. chopped basil, preferably fresh

1 T garlic (optional)

1 T horseradish (optional)

1/2 a large red onion, chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Step 1: Put some water on to boil in your largest stock pot. This makes a LOT.

Step 2: Quarter a 5 lb bag of red potatoes (or cut them even smaller – whatever is the right bite size for you), but don’t peel them. Put them in your boiling water, and salt that water like you’ve never salted anything before.

Step 3: When the potatoes are ALMOST cooked, drain the water off. They will continue to cook after you take them out of the water and you don’t want to end up with mashed potatoes when you stir this whole mess together.

Step 4: In a seperate bowl, combine your wet ingredients. They are as follows:

1/3 cup mayonnaise, and do not blaspheme my recipe with Miracle Whip. Nasty stuff, Miracle Whip.

1/3 cup mustard. Here’s where I think it’s really important to use a nicer mustard, maybe something stone ground.

Note: What you DON’T want here is to be able to really see these ingredients after you stir the whole thing up. They’ll be there for flavor and binding, but you don’t want them to be a major component of your dressing. You don’t want them to drown or “sauce” your taters.

1/2 cup vinegar. It’s really up to you what kind you use, except I don’t recommend balsamic here. I usually use a combo of either white or cider vinegar, and red wine vinegar. It’s a lot of vinegar, I know, but you’ve cooked a lot of starch. If you are afraid, start with half that amount and work from there.

Optional: 2 tablespoons of horseradish. OR, you could use horseradish mustard. Hey, it’s just an option.

Whisk this together, and then add several tablespoons of sugar, and taste it to see when you get it right. The sugar is VERY important to cut that acidic taste, and I think sugar/vinegar mix is one of the most delicious tastes on the planet. If you think you need a little more mayo to hold it together, go for it.

Step 5: If you’ve mise en placed, you’ll have about half a red onion diced up and at the ready. You’ll also have a container of crumbled feta on hand, and about a cup (or more, I do more) of this divine product lurking nearby. I love that stuff, and this is really the only application I use it for, but it is perfect. Really. Don’t bother frying and chopping a bunch of bacon for this. I promise you’ll love the bacon in a bag.

Go ahead and throw all that stuff in with your potatoes, but DON’T STIR YET.

Step 6: You’ll also need to salt and pepper your potatoes, but go easy, because the feta and the bacon are salty, and you can always add more later if you need to.

For spices, I do a little of this and that, as usual. I like basil in this, and if you have fresh it’s preferable. But go easy. You really only need a little – like a tablespoon or so will do.

Do you know how to chiffonade fresh basil? I’ll let The Pioneer Woman teach you, as I couldn’t show it better myself, and she has pictures. I can’t take pictures. Also, some fresh garlic or even garlic powder never hurts anything.

You have such strong flavors already, though, that you really needn’t go overboard spicing this dish. Just taste and add as you like. It’s really all about the bacon, anyway.

Step 7: When you’re ready, dump everything into your waiting stock pot, and gently toss it together. You don’t want to knock all the skins off your taters, or let them start to get mushy. This dish should look like potatoes with some stuff in with them, not like potatoes masked behind a heavy dressing or sauce.

Gingerly displace it into a serving bowl that is just a SMIDGE too small – it looks best if it’s all piled up and sexy.

That dressing will soak into the potatoes, and really give each bite a specialness that will put lace on your panties. Be forewarned, it has a strong flavor, and is not for the faint of heart. Luckily, my heart is not faint.

You can mess with this recipe a lot – sometimes I throw in black olives, or marinated artichoke hearts, or if you want to go really crazy, a sundried tomato or two. Mr. Meat and Potatoes won’t come near it with a ten foot pole if I corrupt it in such a way, though, so those ingredients are for when he’s out of town. The point is, make it your own. I’ll never tell that you got the inspiration from me.

Next I’ll show you how Mr. Meat and Potatoes prefers his tater salad, although he has to grudgingly admit that mine is pretty stinking bad-ass, if he’s pressed.

As always, your thoughts and suggestions are encouraged. Now, go forth and barbeque.