KU football kicks off Spring season today — No joke!

photo by: Nick Krug

Kansas running back Angus Quigley breaks through a gauntlet during practice Monday at the practice fields.

With spring football at Kansas University set to start this afternoon, there are a bunch of questions up in the air surrounding this year’s team, the second to be led by head coach Turner Gill.

With that in mind, here’s a quick prediction for some headlines that might surface as the Jayhawks make their way through.

1. “Angus Quigley granted 7th year of eligibility” — Move over Brady Morningstar, Quigley’s making a run at your title of ‘Oldest Jayhawk Ever.’

2. “Opurum taking snaps at QB” — Why, you might ask? Because, let’s face it, this guy hasn’t been moved around enough.

3. “Gill’s staff combined to put in 34,274 hours of work this offseason” — There’s literally nothing these guys haven’t done.

4. “Jayhawk big man, Jeff Withey, to try hand at returning kicks” — Last year, it was Conner Teahan at quarterback. This year, a different KU hoopster tries football.

5. “Teammate pranks QB Webb, puts name on jersey with athletic tape” — Apparently, the no names on the back of the uniforms policy has gotten to the players more than they’ve let on.

6. “New Gill rule regulates tooth-paste usage past 10 p.m.” — Get ’em brushed by 9:59 or be forced to settle for flossing.

7. “Secondary team mantra: ‘COMPETE'” — C – Catch the ball when it’s thrown to you; O – Offer to block for your punter; M – Make sure all opposing receivers are covered; P – Play with passion; E – Execute the gameplan, not your chances of winning; T – Tackle, tackle, tackle; E – Enjoy the numbers on the scoreboard.

8. “Offensive coordinator Chuck Long says team hopes to avoid playing 3 QBs” — Last season, quarterbacks Kale Pick, Quinn Mecham and Jordan Webb all made starts for the Jayhawks. Time to put a foot down. No more than two QBs will start for Kansas this season. Mark it down.

9. “Gill guarantees Jayhawks won’t lose to Colorado, Nebraska” — Who knows how many wins he’ll lead the team to, but this one is as good as gold.

10. “Players required to forward all calls from Aqib Talib to football office” — He may have helped KU win the Orange Bowl, but, hey, you can never be too careful.

* Note: Seeing how today is April Fools’ Day, none of the above entries should be taken seriously. Football season has arrived. Enjoy it!!!