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LJWorld.com weblogs Rolling along

Riding to work … in silence … naked!

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You’ll have to pardon me, but I just had a bad case of the heebie jeebies.

See, I was thinking about Friday’s national Bike to Work day, and how plans are finally coming together for the World Company’s meet-up that morning. Tentative plans are for coffee and doughnuts for bike commuters at 7:30 a.m. Friday, likely at South Park. (Check the J-W’s Facebook page or Twitter feed in the coming days for when it becomes a done deal).

Then I thought about another theme ride coming up, Wednesday’s Ride of Silence. The Ride of Silence is an international event in which cyclists are encouraged to ride slowly and silently to honor people who have been hurt or killed while cycling on public roadways.

Some cities have actual group Rides of Silence. Cyclists in cities without organized events are encouraged to ride on their own.

But that wasn’t the source of my involuntary shudder.

My thoughts drifted to the other end of the serious spectrum and landed on another international ride I’m super-stoked about: the World Naked Bike Ride. The WNBR will be held June 12.

Now, I’m not going to provide a link to the WNBR’s website. I’m pretty sure it’s Not Safe for Work.

The WNBR is an international event, with dates for northern and southern hemispheres, and its mission is for cyclists to ride bare (or nearly bare or even fully clothed; the level of dress is up to the pedaler’s comfort level) to stand up for their rights to the road and protest dependence on oil and oppression by the four-wheeled masses and blahblahblahblahblahblahblah.

Bottom line: naughty bits on bikes.

Then it dawned on me that a combination of all three rides just might be my idea of heaven on earth. A bike ride to work, in silence, surrounded by naked cyclists.

Somebody pinch me.

Alas, it’s only a dream.

For one thing, the closest city confirmed to be participating in the WNBR is St. Louis. (Quick: Somebody Google the WNBR website and get Lawrence on the list!)

And I’m afraid not every cyclist I’ve seen clothed would be a cyclist I’d like to see unclothed.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some mighty fine looking cyclists, some of whom I wouldn’t mind looking at in the buff. Their buffness, I mean, not mine.

But there are some cyclists — myself included — who present better in as much clothing as possible.

I’m afraid my birthday-suit bicycling would turn the Ride of Silence into the Ride of Snickers, Outright Guffaws and a Couple of Suppressed Gags.

And then there’s the whole awkwardness of rolling to the office in a get-up markedly more casual than business casual.

Hence the heebie jeebies. The thought of jaybird-biking my way through the streets of Lawrence, then rolling up to the office in the buff and settling in for a day at work proved … unsettling.

So I guess I’ll have to shelve my, um, fantasies of a Naked Ride to Work of Silence and will have to settle for two of the three instead.

If only I could pick the two.

Comments

bearded_gnome 4 years, 7 months ago

ya' beat me to it, LadyJ!

still waiting on merrill to promote: nude lawn mowing!

he actually has promoted nude biking and nude hiking on these comment threads, as well as nude gardening.

now Andrew, I don't know what your problem is: after all the president's chief of staff confronts people in the nude [both he and his victims being nude] in the congressional showers.
c'mon, you can bike to work silent and nude if you just try!

all those stares are just admiration.

parrothead8 4 years, 7 months ago

Back when I was in college in North Carolina, we used to go up to the mountains on weekends and have drunk naked mountain bike races. Matter of fact, I think we got the idea for the naked mountain bike race while we were drunk. Or maybe it was the other way around. Those were the days.

Phil Minkin 4 years, 7 months ago

There is a Queen album with a foldout insert on an early version of that race. They must have been hookers since they were pedaling the asses all around town. Badda Boom!

LadyJ 4 years, 7 months ago

So guys could be forced to register as sex offenders in Kansas (at least that is what I have bee told) if caught urinating in public but nude bike riding would be ok?

mrbig 4 years, 7 months ago

Maybe there would be less people to mourn if there weren't bicyclists riding on 2 lane highways with no shoulder. You put yourself and other drivers at risk.

stinerides 4 years, 7 months ago

Isn't it the driver who is putting the rider at risk? I don't think it would be possible for me to run over a car on my bike? I always ride with front and rear lights, and safely. I couldn't agree more with parrothead below. Last time I checked I pay taxes to use any road I like, in whatever means allowed. There would be less people to mourn if the drivers of vehicles weren't so selfish.

mrbig 4 years, 7 months ago

You do put drivers at risk when the speed limit is 55, and you travel in large packs taking up a whole lane of the road. This is especially dangerous when there is a curve or a hill where noone can see if anyone is coming in the oncoming lane while we are forced to go around you. Highways were made for CARS to drive on- not for bicyclists to get a half-assed workout on. Why don't you just stay on roads where there is room for you, and at a speed limit that you can actually keep up with.

As for the taxes, I had no idea that bicyclists paid property taxes to upkeep the roads like car owners!

parrothead8 4 years, 7 months ago

Sometimes a 2-lane highway with no shoulder is the only road that goes where I need to get to. And how, exactly, do I put so many people at risk by taking up 2-3 feet of road on a machine that weighs under 30 pounds? It seems to me that the dangerous machines are the ones weighing thousands of pounds, taking up the whole road, operated at high speeds by people only halfway paying attention. Driving a car doesn't entitle you to any special perks having to do with road ownership. They were built for everybody to use, according to the law.

mrbig 4 years, 7 months ago

I'm not saying YOU specifically put people at risk, but the bikers that I have encountered do. They travel 3-across on a two lane highway, making the only way to pass them be to go into the oncoming lane. On my road, this is dangerous when there are tons of curves and hills where you cannot see if traffic is approaching. Also they teeter all around in their lane, they don't just take up their 2-3 feet of road they are entitled to. Maybe this could be resolved if there were mirrors on bikes that were on the highway so that they could actually know when a car was approaching instead of teetering here and there like a moron. I can't say anything about the attention of the drivers you are talking about, but they are operating at high speeds, because that's the damn SPEED LIMIT- not the 20 mph you're going.

parrothead8 4 years, 7 months ago

You're seriously trying to tell me that most of the drivers on the roads are driving the speed limit? And even if they are, how much of an inconvenience is it to slow down for a few seconds to pass a bicycle safely? You're in a high-powered, climate-controlled environment with your favorite tunes playing, and the only body parts you have to move to safely maneuver around a bicycle are your neck (to check your mirrors), your ankle (to control the gas/brake), and your arms (to direct the steering wheel). It's not like you have to go a mile out of your way or miss an important appointment. Cyclists aren't asking for a ton of effort from automobile drivers.

Richard Heckler 4 years, 7 months ago

An LPD person did say they are on the look out for reckless drivers endangering cyclists and writing citations aka traffic tickets. Some LPD officers who like to ride have experienced unacceptable driving behavior. The community lost one deputy sheriff due to unacceptable driving behavior as the sheriff deputy was enjoying a morning ride.

It appears to me that some on this chat board shower with their clothes on. Freedom of expression is not allowed in their world.

Cyclists do pay taxes = use any road they wish.

md 4 years, 7 months ago

I thought exposing ones self in public was against the law. If I had my grand daughter with me I would damn sure try to do something about it. If small children see them they need to be run in and possibly be put on the register. It would be no different than some walking up to a child and exposing one self.

bearded_gnome 4 years, 7 months ago

Merrillito:

An LPD person did say they are on the look out for reckless drivers endangering cyclists and writing citations aka traffic tickets. Some LPD officers who like to ride have experienced unacceptable driving behavior. The community lost one deputy sheriff due to unacceptable driving behavior as the sheriff deputy was enjoying a morning ride.

It appears to me that some on this chat board shower with their clothes on. Freedom of expression is not allowed in their world.

an "lpd person" does this poorly expressed poster mean "officer?" shows some disrespect for officers.
and saying that walking around nude is "freedom of expression" sure doesn't make it so! freedom of expression/speech do have reasonable limits in our society.

hey Merrill: did you ever check out the condoms at Naughty But Nice as you said you would in one post?


nude biking: hot plastic bicycle seat plus naughty bits. when man tries to dismount bike=pain!

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