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LJWorld.com weblogs Rolling along

Riding to work … in silence … naked!

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You’ll have to pardon me, but I just had a bad case of the heebie jeebies.

See, I was thinking about Friday’s national Bike to Work day, and how plans are finally coming together for the World Company’s meet-up that morning. Tentative plans are for coffee and doughnuts for bike commuters at 7:30 a.m. Friday, likely at South Park. (Check the J-W’s Facebook page or Twitter feed in the coming days for when it becomes a done deal).

Then I thought about another theme ride coming up, Wednesday’s Ride of Silence. The Ride of Silence is an international event in which cyclists are encouraged to ride slowly and silently to honor people who have been hurt or killed while cycling on public roadways.

Some cities have actual group Rides of Silence. Cyclists in cities without organized events are encouraged to ride on their own.

But that wasn’t the source of my involuntary shudder.

My thoughts drifted to the other end of the serious spectrum and landed on another international ride I’m super-stoked about: the World Naked Bike Ride. The WNBR will be held June 12.

Now, I’m not going to provide a link to the WNBR’s website. I’m pretty sure it’s Not Safe for Work.

The WNBR is an international event, with dates for northern and southern hemispheres, and its mission is for cyclists to ride bare (or nearly bare or even fully clothed; the level of dress is up to the pedaler’s comfort level) to stand up for their rights to the road and protest dependence on oil and oppression by the four-wheeled masses and blahblahblahblahblahblahblah.

Bottom line: naughty bits on bikes.

Then it dawned on me that a combination of all three rides just might be my idea of heaven on earth. A bike ride to work, in silence, surrounded by naked cyclists.

Somebody pinch me.

Alas, it’s only a dream.

For one thing, the closest city confirmed to be participating in the WNBR is St. Louis. (Quick: Somebody Google the WNBR website and get Lawrence on the list!)

And I’m afraid not every cyclist I’ve seen clothed would be a cyclist I’d like to see unclothed.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some mighty fine looking cyclists, some of whom I wouldn’t mind looking at in the buff. Their buffness, I mean, not mine.

But there are some cyclists — myself included — who present better in as much clothing as possible.

I’m afraid my birthday-suit bicycling would turn the Ride of Silence into the Ride of Snickers, Outright Guffaws and a Couple of Suppressed Gags.

And then there’s the whole awkwardness of rolling to the office in a get-up markedly more casual than business casual.

Hence the heebie jeebies. The thought of jaybird-biking my way through the streets of Lawrence, then rolling up to the office in the buff and settling in for a day at work proved … unsettling.

So I guess I’ll have to shelve my, um, fantasies of a Naked Ride to Work of Silence and will have to settle for two of the three instead.

If only I could pick the two.

Comments

bearded_gnome 3 years, 11 months ago

Merrillito:

An LPD person did say they are on the look out for reckless drivers endangering cyclists and writing citations aka traffic tickets. Some LPD officers who like to ride have experienced unacceptable driving behavior. The community lost one deputy sheriff due to unacceptable driving behavior as the sheriff deputy was enjoying a morning ride.

It appears to me that some on this chat board shower with their clothes on. Freedom of expression is not allowed in their world.

an "lpd person" does this poorly expressed poster mean "officer?" shows some disrespect for officers.
and saying that walking around nude is "freedom of expression" sure doesn't make it so! freedom of expression/speech do have reasonable limits in our society.

hey Merrill: did you ever check out the condoms at Naughty But Nice as you said you would in one post?


nude biking: hot plastic bicycle seat plus naughty bits. when man tries to dismount bike=pain!

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md 3 years, 11 months ago

I thought exposing ones self in public was against the law. If I had my grand daughter with me I would damn sure try to do something about it. If small children see them they need to be run in and possibly be put on the register. It would be no different than some walking up to a child and exposing one self.

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Richard Heckler 3 years, 11 months ago

An LPD person did say they are on the look out for reckless drivers endangering cyclists and writing citations aka traffic tickets. Some LPD officers who like to ride have experienced unacceptable driving behavior. The community lost one deputy sheriff due to unacceptable driving behavior as the sheriff deputy was enjoying a morning ride.

It appears to me that some on this chat board shower with their clothes on. Freedom of expression is not allowed in their world.

Cyclists do pay taxes = use any road they wish.

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parrothead8 3 years, 11 months ago

Sometimes a 2-lane highway with no shoulder is the only road that goes where I need to get to. And how, exactly, do I put so many people at risk by taking up 2-3 feet of road on a machine that weighs under 30 pounds? It seems to me that the dangerous machines are the ones weighing thousands of pounds, taking up the whole road, operated at high speeds by people only halfway paying attention. Driving a car doesn't entitle you to any special perks having to do with road ownership. They were built for everybody to use, according to the law.

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mrbig 3 years, 11 months ago

Maybe there would be less people to mourn if there weren't bicyclists riding on 2 lane highways with no shoulder. You put yourself and other drivers at risk.

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LadyJ 3 years, 11 months ago

So guys could be forced to register as sex offenders in Kansas (at least that is what I have bee told) if caught urinating in public but nude bike riding would be ok?

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autie 3 years, 11 months ago

no difference...those bikes would clog up the lane of traffic in an unsafe fashion, naked or not. It ain't so bad when they ain't traveling in packs.

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Phil Minkin 3 years, 11 months ago

There is a Queen album with a foldout insert on an early version of that race. They must have been hookers since they were pedaling the asses all around town. Badda Boom!

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parrothead8 3 years, 11 months ago

Back when I was in college in North Carolina, we used to go up to the mountains on weekends and have drunk naked mountain bike races. Matter of fact, I think we got the idea for the naked mountain bike race while we were drunk. Or maybe it was the other way around. Those were the days.

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RoeDapple 3 years, 11 months ago

Just Say No!!

(to seat sniffers)

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bearded_gnome 3 years, 11 months ago

ya' beat me to it, LadyJ!

still waiting on merrill to promote: nude lawn mowing!

he actually has promoted nude biking and nude hiking on these comment threads, as well as nude gardening.

now Andrew, I don't know what your problem is: after all the president's chief of staff confronts people in the nude [both he and his victims being nude] in the congressional showers.
c'mon, you can bike to work silent and nude if you just try!

all those stares are just admiration.

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Kirk Larson 3 years, 11 months ago

Can I put a washable cover on my seat?

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LadyJ 3 years, 11 months ago

Well, Merril will be here shortly.

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