LJWorld.com weblogs Rolling along
Posted
by Andrew Hartsock
February 12, 2010 at 8 a.m.
Honk if you're Longhorn-y
A few months ago, my 8-year-old son approached my wife and me. He was sheepish, almost embarrassed, but he said he had something to tell us.
Expecting the worst, we sat down and listened as he stammered, “Mom, dad, I’m … I’m … ”
Yes, go on.
“I’m a f … I’m a fa … ”
It’s OK. Whatever it is, we’ll understand and love you no matter what. Really.
“I’m a … fan. Of the Longhorns. I’m a Texas Longhorns fan!”
My wife shrieked and clutched her chest. I tried to look understanding. I’m sure we both retreated to our own personal parental hell, wondering just how we had let our baby go astray. (But for vastly different reasons. A diehard Jayhawk fan, my wife hoped he’d bleed Crimson and Blue; I hoped he’d carry on his dear old dad’s remarkable ambivalence for sports organizations).
But we assured him we’d love him even if he cheered for the other team, and with only a few exceptions — like my wife’s declaration, “As long as you live under my roof, YOU WILL NOT CHEER FOR THE LONGHORNS ANY TIME THEY PLAY AGAINST THE JAYHAWKS!” — we’ve been as supportive as possible.
OK, I’ll come clean. There never really was a big coming-out-of-the-closet moment, but the kid does love his ’Horns.
With that as background, Monday, when UT took on the Jayhawks in a Big Monday basketball game, we gathered ’round the big screen — at least until bedtime (for the wife, that is) — and I couldn’t help but notice how many of the UT faithful were wearing foam Bevo horns. And I thought maybe my Bevo-loving boy might like a pair.
At the suggestion of a few co-workers, I texted Journal-World basketball beat writer Gary Bedore — I considered asking sports editor Tom Keegan, but he’s kind of curmudgeonly, not much of a people person and he just hates kids — and asked if he’d try to snare a pair for my kid.
Despite the fact it was the second half of a huge game in a raucous arena, Gary responded in about 14 seconds with, “well try.”
Sure enough, the next day he dropped off not one but two pair of foamhorns on my desk, further cementing his status as a Fine Man (and genius with food additives).
I just had to get them home.
Foamhorns aren’t particularly big or bulky or heavy. They’re just kind of … awkward to carry on a bike.
I thought about looping one over each arm, creating burnt end, er, burnt orange wings, but I feared all the flapping in the breeze at my sure-to-be-frantic pace might tear the delicate foam.
I also considered donning the foamhorns over my helmet. It was cold, and I figured the foam might offer some insulative properties. Plus, I laughed at the thought of the figure I’d cut as I rode about town with two pair of Bevo horns flapping in the breeze.
But the horns were too small to fit around my helmeted noggin, and I figured I didn’t need to give any angst-ridden motorists any additional reasons to want to run me off the road.
The whole thing did, however, get me thinking about other ways to decorate my helmet. Maybe a discreet pair of devil horns, say, or a warthog’s tusks? Stegosaur plates? Beanie propeller? Shark fin? Tried-but-true arrow-through-the-helmet gag?
The possibilities are limitless, but Bevo bits, I learned, aren’t an option.
Just don’t tell it to my son.
and 7 others
Marketplace
Arts & Entertainment · Bars · Theatres · Restaurants · Coffeehouses · Libraries · Antiques · Services
- National group seeks repeal of 'Stand Your Ground' law in Kansas May 27, 2012 · 163 comments
- Kansas tax act most regressive in nation May 27, 2012 · 274 comments
- Study suggests continued population drop in Kansas May 29, 2012 · 13 comments
- U.S. military sees new appreciation May 28, 2012 · 45 comments
- Tax gamble May 26, 2012 · 93 comments
- On the street: How did you spend your Memorial Day? May 28, 2012 · 35 comments
- God, marriage May 25, 2012 · 200 comments
- Brownback tells federal judicial panel to toss legislative redistricting maps May 29, 2012 · 3 comments
- Sound Off: How much does the city’s transit system collect in fares compared with how much it costs May 27, 2012 · 136 comments
- Blog: Writing Your Erotica: An Afternoon Lead By Dixie Lubin In The Company Of Other Women May 28, 2012 · 47 comments
- Kansas tax act most regressive in nation May 27, 2012
- Thread of pain ran through Jackson’s career June 28, 2009
- Friends mourn Lynn Bretz, former voice of KU May 28, 2012
- Hilltop executive director Pat Pisani stepping down May 28, 2012
- Kansas football scouring country May 29, 2012
- City, county mull upgrade to emergency radio system May 28, 2012
- How to help: Guides needed for Lamplight Tour of Black Jack Battlefield and Nature Park May 27, 2012
- Town Talk: UPDATE: Frank Male files for county commission; keep an ear open for local sales tax talk; city hires new city engineer; wholesale water district buys land near Kaw; weekly land transfers May 29, 2012
- Library kicks off reading program May 27, 2012
- Town Talk: UPDATE: Thellman files for re-election to county commission; News of salvage yards, curbside recycling and a pig May 25, 2012
Comments
LJWorld.com doesn’t necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy. Also, read about banned accounts and harassing comments.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…
Lol! Cute post. :)
jayhawkmama (anonymous) says…
It's a good thing I think your son is cute...Longhorn fan. Ugh. ;) ...and don't tell your wife this, but I think getting him some horns of his own was mighty nice of you. Such a good dad.
Kash_Encarri (anonymous) says…
Geebs is a good guy. Descring Keegan as a crumudgeon is being way too kind.
MacHeath (anonymous) says…
get one of those lawn windmill things...
ciscokaren (anonymous) says…
LOL! I'd cheer with your son any day! Hook 'em horns!
Starlight (anonymous) says…
I hope the game's result cured him;)
1029 (anonymous) says…
This is just bad parenting. I would have sent the kid to his room when he confessed that he was a longhorn fan, and I would have made him wait outside--or at least in the garage--during the KU-texas game.
puddleglum (anonymous) says…
bad parenting indeed.
you should have spanked the child.
could be worse, spare the rod-your child ends up at mizzou.
(sorry JK)
bikewife (anonymous) says…
bad parenting = no
8-year-old boy who likes orange and to antagonize his mom = yes
jimmyspeachbaskets (anonymous) says…
I know it may be hard to kick an 8 year old out of the house, but....
shepdog (anonymous) says…
My son is a longhorn fan also. It has been a tough b-ball season! But heh, there's always baseball, football, swimming, softball and every other sport they are usually good at!!! Us J-Hawks have to rub it in when we can!!!
Did_I_say_that (DIST) says…
What has happened in this child's life? An eight year old is way too young to even know about these things let alone determine that he is one. Help is needed right away: a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, maybe even an intervention specialist.
Then a parent reinforces this behavior by buying appliances that are known to increase the likelihood of making a permanent choice.
Unfortunately, there may not be anything you can do. Some tests have indicated that the behavior may be genetic. Andrew...are you one too?