Several years ago, my wife and I were shopping for a bench to put on our deck.

I finally happened upon the perfect one at the perfect price at an end-of-season sale. But there was a catch. It was an assembled floor model, so to get the discounted price — as I recall, it was substantial, like 75 bucks off — I’d have to haul it away intact.

I knew my neighbor had an old pickup and gambled that he’d let me use it to lug the bench home.

“No problem,” he said. “But you should know, it won’t go in reverse, so park somewhere you don’t have to back up.”

After bringing the bench home, I returned the truck with a six-pack of some fine American ale on the bench seat as a thank you and considered it well worth it.

My neighbor has a couple of nice cars, but he has gone through a succession of impressively beat-up pickups. In addition to the one that only went forward, he had one that had to have its wheels chocked when parked. They were functional beaters.

But what his trucks lacked in niceties, they more than made up in utility, and that’s something I’ve always appreciated. They weren’t pretty, but they got the job done.

I thought about his approach to transportation — the emphasis on utility, not so much the tendency to treat motor vehicles as disposable — when I happened upon the latest bike I’ve started to picture in my garage.

Flipping through a bicycle magazine, I found a review of a Torker Cargo T. It’s large and in charge and ugly and … perfect. Said to be inspired by a Dutch delivery bike, the Cargo T has two heavy-duty cargo racks — one up front, one in the back — and all sorts of nifty little touches to make loading and hauling with the bicycling beast of burden easier, like a “double-strength” kickstand and a headset lock (to keep the front wheel from flopping around as you load up the front rack — genius). There’s even a “Dutch Tring” bell.

And it’s green. Bright green.

There’s nothing sleek or sexy about the Torker Cargo T. She weighs in at a porky 45 pounds — twice as much as most of my other bikes — but she’s not fat. She’s big-boned.

She’s not made for haulin’ butt. She’s built for hauling booty.

Though I’m having a hard time (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) justifying 600 bucks for a grocery-getter, just think of the savings in gas and wear and tear on my car. I live about a mile from my grocery store of choice, yet I almost always drive there, because the bulk and weight of my usual grocery run would make the walk difficult if not impossible.

I know I could get panniers for an existing bike, but the Cargo T is purpose-built for just such a trip. I know there are other options: racks, trailers, backpacks and such. But compared to the Cargo T, each of those options seems inelegant at best.

A fella could lash a whole suitcase of adult beverages on each rack! Heck, he could mount a pony keg, front and back! Let the good times roll, indeed.

I have to admit, though, I’d likely have a hard time hauling a bench on that lovely beastie. Just about anything else, though, would be fair game — even the hooch I’d haul home to pay off the occasional use of my neighbor’s truck.