Halloween on two wheels

Posted by Andrew Hartsock October 30, 2009 at 8:14 a.m.

I’ve ridden my bike on all of the major national holidays — and most of the minor ones.

Each holiday ride seems to have its own distinct atmosphere.

I’ve had kids throw fire crackers and smoke bombs under my wheels on the Fourth of July, and I’ve nearly been run off the road by frenzied drivers evidently overwhelmed by the notion of peace on Earth and goodwill toward men on Christmas.

I’ve nearly nodded off at the handlebars during a bloated Thanksgiving ride, and I’ve hopped on sidewalks to get out of the way of obviously tipsy New Year’s Even partiers.

Of ’em all, I’d say I like riding on Halloween the best, just for the sheer oddity factor.

Last year, several days before All Hallows Eve, I was riding home when I encountered a group of teens in costume. As I approached, they showered me with Smarties and SweeTarts while sing-songing “Trick or Treat.” I even managed to catch a tube of Smarties.

I’ve had ghosts sprint out of nowhere in front of me and, one year, I had a vampire run alongside for more than a block, wordless, without even looking over my way.

I’ve had to maneuver around all manner of ghastly beings, especially downtown, in all states of dress and undress.

On one particularly memorable Halloween ride, I had to slalom through a naughty nurse, a French maid (do the French, I wonder, dress as American maids?), a gothic cheerleader and what I can only guess was Daisy Duke. At least, she had Daisy’s shorts. Never mind that Frankenstein’s monster was glowering from the corner.

I’m not much of a costume guy, but I’ve contemplated getting into the spirit for my commute.

A logical choice would be to go as the Headless Bikeman. I could button up my cape over my head, stick a pumpkin over my headlight and ride around terrorizing any Ichabod Crane wannabes I encounter. Probably wouldn’t be the safest, though, and capes have a funny way of getting caught in bike chains.

The whole costume-in-the-chain thing rules out all sorts of possibilities.

I’d love to go as a hot dog, but somehow I don’t think that’d be especially safe.

I also envision somehow fashioning a giant skull and putting it over my head, helmet and all. In my mind’s eye, I have a funny image of passengers in cars next to me at intersections as I nonchalantly turn my grotesque, frightening skull-head their way. Talk about a mind-freak.

Then again, I believe it’s generally a better idea to be seen by motorists, but not to mesmerize them.

Especially this year. A combination of Halloween falling on a Saturday — a game day, no less — on the same night daylight savings time ends (and results in an extra hour at the watering holes) could lead to an epic evening.

I can’t wait.

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RoeDapple (anonymous) says…

How about the Stay-Puff marshmallow man? Bright white for safety, non threatening, jovial and no cape! And obviously a character that could use the exercise...
October 30, 2009 at 9:17 a.m.
ilovelucy (anonymous) says…

I think the headless cyclist is brillant. Hope you do it!
October 30, 2009 at 9:45 a.m.
somedude20 (anonymous) says…

You could always dress as Kevin Bacon from the movie Quicksilver.
How about as a Andrea Bocelli riding a bike ( just need sunglasses and a slight beard)
October 30, 2009 at 9:55 a.m.
Irish (Leslie Swearingen) says…

Roe, I like it, and if he falls off, the marshmallow outfit would cushion the fall.
On the other hand if we got a snowstorm, which is not impossible, and he fell off, well?
October 30, 2009 at 6:27 p.m.