LJWorld.com weblogs The Lawrence Crime Blotter
Posted
by Joel Mathis
July 13, 2006 at 11:24 a.m.
The case of the 39 missing wedding gowns
¢ An accidental shot was fired into a county residence according to Douglas County Sheriff's officials. At 5:40 p.m. Wednesday a shot was fired by an area resident into a home in the 1600 block of North 1300 Road. ¢ A victim's shed was burglarized in Baldwin over the Fourth of July weekend. A man reported $2,165 of tools missing from his shed in the 1500 block of North 500 Road. He told police the tools were stolen between July 4 and 5. ¢ At 3:23 a.m. today, 39 wedding gowns were recovered south of Eudora. The gowns of various sizes and labels were found on the roadway of East 2100 and North 1200 roads in Eudora. Sheriff's department spokeswoman Kari Wempe says they aren't sure who they belong to and are in evidence now.
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Comments
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BrianR (anonymous) says…
Thirty nine wedding gowns by the side of the road!
There's a country song in there somewhere.
OldEnuf2BYurDad (anonymous) says…
My guess is that a lifelong obssesive-compulsive recently got into a recovery program and finally decided to rid herself of her collection.
consumer1 (anonymous) says…
the throw away bride. Julie Roberts where art thou?
Pywacket (anonymous) says…
Muriel has come to America! ;-)
(OldEnuf--if you've never seen "Muriel's Wedding," you should rent it--very funny!)
cutny (anonymous) says…
Accidentally shot a house? God loves the rural gun nuts. I'm sure the shooter was a white good old boy though, so no problem, right?
Pywacket (anonymous) says…
If it was a rifle, I know what happened! Bobby Earl found his girlfriend's stash of wedding gowns in her hope chest and tried to shoot himself. But he was too drunk and his toe slipped off the trigger.
Then Velma May drove off with the dresses, but tragically hit Bobby's old blind bluetick hound on the road, causing the wedding dresses to fly out the back of the pickup. In her haste to get Ol' Possum to the vet, she selflessly abandoned the dresses.
BrianR, I think this is the crux of your song. Add title and tune.
wordsofwisdom (anonymous) says…
Accidentally shot a house? Where was Chaney????
justthefacts (anonymous) says…
Here you go; your song.
I went to get my hammer from the shed
but it was emptied of its content
so instead
I went to find my gun to end my life
cause June Bug Sue refused to be my wife.
Instead she hoped to be the blushing bride
in different states, she'd picked out thirty-nine.
I left all her dresses there by the road side
then went to take revenge and sooth my pride.
But she was gone, with all my tools in tow.
So I shot her house.
That's all you need to know.
trinity (anonymous) says…
uh, hey, pywacket? can't we throw something in here about a professor who was beaten by the rednecks-or is that news too old? ;)
Jillster (anonymous) says…
I'm intrigued -- 39 wedding gowns? There's gotta be a good story behind that one!
Berserk (anonymous) says…
Wedding store report any thefts?
Insurance claims?
oscarfactor (anonymous) says…
Wedding gowns found? Two words: Elizabeth Taylor
BrianR (anonymous) says…
Snort!
I love the songs.
Gootsie (anonymous) says…
Very nice composing there, JTF!!
Pywacket (anonymous) says…
Trinity~ Yes!
Tomorrow Professor Delusional is going to file a complaint stating that he was chased out of town by 39 brides in a converted church bus. They forced him off the road, beat him senseless with their bouquets, ripped their dresses off, and departed wearing nothing but old borrowed Wonderbras and new blue thongs.
Maybe justthefacts can work him into the second verse.
misplacedcheesehead (anonymous) says…
i hate weddings! therefore i hate wedding gowns!!
the whole thing is pretty da*n funny.
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
LOL!
pretty darned funny you guys.
39 brides, for 39 brothers?
hmmm.or, "39 steps?'" hitchcock movie?
classclown (Class Clown) says…
The headline reads like a Perry Mason title.
geekin_topekan (anonymous) says…
Now thats my kind of reception!!
displacedsunflower (anonymous) says…
Justthefacts, I like your song & the way that
you worked in the several stories/themes.
The stories are intriguing.
Lynn731 (anonymous) says…
Where are the 39 naked brides? Thank you, Lynn
bearded_gnome (anonymous) says…
if a group of whales is a pod,
and a group of cattle is a herd,
what do you call a group of naked brides?
a: internet porn stars?
or
a: very angry, watchout!!!
justsomewench (anonymous) says…
39 near-misses or near-mrs.
this is the type of news that makes divorces lawyers weep.
lunacydetector (anonymous) says…
here's a story from 2003 regarding 75 wedding gowns stolen from Lincoln, NE.
http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Central/11...
perhaps someone should contact the lincoln police.
Tamaralaug (anonymous) says…
As far as the gun shot story, it was a 38 and he was trying to shoot an animal that was in his drive way. I only know this because I know the guy that did it. Needless to say, the cops took his gun! And he is really lucky because the bullet went into the neighbors house, thru her kitchen cabinet, and landed in her sink. She was standing near the sink. Fortunately, she was not hit!
coolmom (anonymous) says…
hum 39 wedding dresses.....pledge week? that is kinda funny. sucks to be the guy who fired the gun though. i bet nearly everyone has had a misfire story that handles weapons. glad the lady wasnt hurt.
KSChick1 (anonymous) says…
I hate it when weapons misfire
he he
it sounds kinda dirty